Maybe This Month....

5 weeks old yesterday

2009-11-20T11:16:00.006-06:00

Ali Anne went back to the doctor yesterday for another weight check. She weighed 7 lbs 8 ozs. We can go back to regular Enfamil and stop the 24 calorie Enfamil!!!

I forgot to tell you that at her last appt 2 weeks ago she was 20.5 inches long. She had grown 1.5 inches in 3 weeks!!!

And look at who took her nap in her bed for the very fist time!! I was upstairs sewing and she fell asleep so I laid her in her bed for a little while so I could finish!!

I think all the weight she has gained is in her chubby little chipmunk cheeks!!!

Cutie Patootie

2009-11-16T13:08:00.001-06:00

Check out the NEW items on Cutie Patootie!!!

TONS of NEW pictures

2009-11-16T12:40:00.004-06:00

Ali Anne is really growing. We went for another weight check a week and a half ago and she was up to 6 lbs 8 ozs. we go back this Thursday for another one and hopefully we will be off of the high calorie formula then.

We have been out of pocket for a while b/c AA and I went to see Mom for about a week. I had to get out of my house for a while and she needed to spend some time with my fam!!!

Here is Ali Anne's Halloween Picture. Nannie and I made this tutu for her!!!

We made these scarecrows for Halloween Treats for the Trick or Treaters.

Here is Ali Anne's 4 week old picture. Trey and Sidnette gave her this beautiful dress.

And here are my 3 favorite people. I think they like her!!!

She's Here

2009-10-22T19:34:00.005-06:00

Ali Anne made her debut last Thursday, October 15th, at 10:35 AM. She weighed 5 lb 6 oz and was 19 in long. I have NO IDEA where she was in my tummy!!

They tried the version twice to turn her. I do not recommend this. It was EXTREMELY painful. I have NEVER hurt so bad. It also didn't work. I ended up having a c-section. Everything went fine. My heart rate shot up when I heard her cry for the first time and it took the doctors a little bit to get it back down and then my blood pressure bottomed out so that was a little scary.

Ali Anne needed a little oxygen for just a few minutes after she born but then she was fine. Her glucose level was a little low (19) so she was on an IV for 36 hours. I didn't even get to see her until 5:00 that night because they were trying to get it up. They did stop by the nursery window when they were moving me to my room and let me look through the window. Burt and Mom stayed in the nursery most of the day with her.

She is absolutely beautiful and I stand in awe that she is real and actually mine. We are giving God all of the glory for this beautiful little miracle.

I will attach some more pictures later. But here is the one we took of her before we left the hospital. She was WAY too small for her preemie going home outfit so she wore a baby doll outfit.

We came home on Sunday and had to go back on Monday for a weight check and billirubin check. her bili was 10.5 when we left the hospital. On Monday she weighed 5 lbs and her bili was 11.6. They changed her formula from original Enfamil to Enfamil 24 calorie. We went back yesterday and her bili was 10.4 and her weight was up to 5lbs 2 ozs. We will take her back on Thursday to check everything again.

Oh and big news - at 32 hours old - Ali Anne flipped over from her back to her tummy. We thought it was just a fluke, but she has continued to do it every day - several times a day!!!

36w2d

2009-10-09T18:33:00.002-06:00

Not much has happened the past few weeks. I saw Dr. Perry twice last week and he other than being very small, Ali Anne is doing GREAT. Last Monday she weighed approximately 4 lb 3 oz. Then I saw Dr. Connell twice this week and had 2 non-stress tests. Both were perfect.

When I saw Dr. Connell on Monday he checked me and said AA was still breech and that I had not dilated at all - I hadn't even thinned out any.

I was having a few contractions on Monday. I had like 4 in an hour but they weren't hard and then I might have one and then another one 15 minutes later and then another one 5 minutes later and then another one an hour later. I have been doing this most of the week.

Then I went back to see Dr. Connell on Thursday. He checked me again and said I have dilated some and he "THINKS" AA has turned. His words were "if she hasn't turned, her butt has gotten REALLY hard and skinny in the past 3 days"!! HA!! We had a ton of questions for him and he was SUPER patient with us. And before we left, we scheduled an induction day of THURSDAY, Oct 15th - 6 days from now!!!! I am so EXCITED!!! I can't believe she will be here so soon!!! I still have so much to do!!!!

We have to be at the hospital (River Region in Vicksburg) at 6 am Thursday for lab work and an ultrasound and if she is breech then he will try to turn her and if it doesn't work we will have a section!!!

34w1d

2009-09-24T13:39:00.003-06:00

Had another non-stress test at Dr. Connell's office today. Everything looked GREAT again!! Only thing is I have lost 2 pounds (down to 140) in the past week. Even though I am eating everything in site. I have eaten like an entire cake in the past 2 days!!! I just hope Ali Anne is growing since I am losing weight. I have been measuring my belly every morning with a measuring tape and it hasn't changed in 3 weeks!!! It is still round about 34 inches!!!

I had a surprise baby shower at bunko Tuesday night!! It was so much fun and I got tons of cute things!!! I don't have pictures because since it was a surprise I didn't have my camera but someone else took pictures for me and said that she would send them to me this week.

Then Burt had a surprise shower over at his office yesterday. I went over and had some cake with them. Once again - no pictures!!!! Ugh!! We did get some nice gifts though.

Saturday is my shower with all of my friends and then Sunday is the shower at our church here in Greenville!!! Mom and Nannie are coming in tomorrow night sometime for the long weekend. They are staying over until Monday since the shower Sunday is not until 2-4 PM and then by the time we got home and got unloaded and got them loaded and something to eat it would be late and plus I see Dr. Perry again Monday morning. It only makes sense for them to stay!!! I am excited!!!

I already have so many thank you cards to write but I don't want to write them until I put all of the gifts away and I don't want to do that until Mom and Nannie see them. Maybe I can get a good many done over the weekend!!!

33w5d - Dr. Perry

2009-09-21T16:10:00.004-06:00

We went to see Dr. Perry today. He said he was pleased with what he saw. He didn't take any measurements as far as growth is concerned today though. He said he likes to wait 3 weeks between checking that because of the margin of error. He said you can get a better picture of growth if you wait 3 weeks. So he will check that next Monday.

He checked umbilical cord blood flow and blood flow to her brain. Both looked good and we in the 50s - I think around 54 or 56. Her heart rate was 159. Her lungs looked good. The amniotic fluid is still on the low side of normal. Today is was 7.8 but he said that is ok. My cervix has shortened a cm. It is now 3 cm. Not a big deal. And she is of course, still breech.

I will have another NST on Thursday with Dr. Connell and then I will see Dr. Perry twice next week before he goes out of town for a week.

We also got to have lunch with my best friend from college - Meg - who drove up with her two precious children last night just to meet us for lunch today!! Her Mom - Mom #2 - as I have always called her also came too!!! It was so much fun!! I hope we can all get together again soon!! I miss you guys!!!

33w1d

2009-09-17T15:22:00.003-06:00

Monday we went to Jackson to see Dr. Perry. He said that the umbilical blood flow and the blood flow to the brain in AA are still really good. I think in the brain it was 54 (whatever that means). The amniotic fluid was 7.4. He didn't measure her growth b/c I had just been there 4 days before and there wasn't enough of a time difference to tell a difference in growth. He still seems optimistic that I will make it to 36-37 weeks. I took the two steroid shots over the weekend for AA's lungs and I guess they worked b/c when she was awake on Monday her little lungs were inflating and deflating away!!!

I went to Vicksburg today to see Dr. Connell. I had another NST. It was great - in fact he said her heart rate was perfect. He said that she s supposed to have 2 iterations of 12 beats above baseline for 15 seconds or something like that in 20 minutes. Anyway he said she did and it was great and there were no decelerations. I think i had one contraction - maybe- the whole time. Laying on my back like that I couldn't really tell but the monitor did shoot up to 50 one time so even if it was real it wasn't anything to get excited about.

I will go back to Jackson on Monday and Vicksburg on Tuesday of next week.

I think I finally have all of my showers planned!!
September 26th in Greenville
September 27th at my church in Greenville
September 30th at work
October 4th at my Mom's church where I grew up

I'm so excited!!! I can't wait!!!

Oh and just for my information - my blood pressure was 108/62 and I gained one pound to 142 (16 pounds total)!

32w1d - Dr. Perry

2009-09-10T17:52:00.003-06:00

Well I went to see Dr. Perry this morning. He did a complete biophysical profile and umbiblical blood flow test on Ali Anne. He said she is definitely suffering from growth restriction. He measured her to weight around 3 lb 2 oz as well. He said that physically she is fine just small, but her growth will continue to slow down. Right now she is measuring about 2 weeks behind. He found no genetic or birth defects nor any chromosomal abnormalities. He said that he believes this is happening b/c of my clotting disorder not letting the placenta give her all the nutrients she needs. I will see him every Monday until I deliver. Best case scenario is that I will make it to 37 weeks at which time they will induce. He said the risk of still birth is too great for me to go any further than 37 weeks. But with that being said even if I make it to 37 weeks she will not be the size of a normal 37 week baby. Dr. Connell will see me every Thursday for non-stress tests until I deliver. Our short-term goal is to make it to 34 weeks - that is less than 2 weeks away!!!!! I am going back to Vicksburg tomorrow to get a steroid shot for her lungs and will go back on Saturday morning to get another one. That is just in case I deliver early. Dr. Perry said at the first sign of stress in the baby we will get her out - if I am in Jackson at the time I will deliver at Baptist by the OB on call - if I am in Vicksburg I will deliver there.

So basically right now we are praying and waiting. I know that God is in control of this situation and He already has the perfect plan laid out for Ali Anne. we have packed our hospital bags and they are in the car. I am going to go ahead and put the car seat in this weekend - not that we will need it for a while even if I go ahead and deliver - but at least it is one less thing we will have to worry about. I am going to get the house good and clean this weekend and try to finish monogramming AA some things and see how many preemie clothes she has now.

Oh and AA is only measuring less than the 10th percentile.

32w

2009-09-09T20:42:00.003-06:00

We went back to try the 4d ultrasound on Friday but didn't get any pictures. We had a WONDERFUL trip. I have been exhausted ever since we got back though. We got home about 10:30 Monday night. I will post pics as soon as I get some from Mom - I just used her camera all weekend bc it is smaller.

I went in for my regular OB appointment today. He found a few issues and I am headed to Jackson to see Dr. Perry (the maternal/fetal specialist tomorrow). My amniotic fluid level is low - not critical yet - but it is definitely low. I know it is lower than 8. He said that I may have just been dehydrated and it may come back up but he wants it looked at by a specialist. Ali Anne is also measuring a few weeks behind and only weighs 3 lb 1 oz and she should be weighing close to 4 lb. So that added to the low amniotic fluid level means that I am starting to have some growth restriction. He said that I would deliver sometime between today and 39 weeks. He said Dr. Perry would be able to tell us EXACTLY when we need to deliver. We went to the hospital and did a non-stress test today and everything was fine. Dr. C said I would have these at least once a week if not twice a week until I deliver. So I really don't know much tonight - I will know more tomorrow.

We did get some 4d pictures today. They are not real clear but we were able to see her on the screen pretty well. She looks like me!!! The us tech had to do it through the placenta and the low fluid level didn't help with the clarity of the images.

31w1d

2009-09-03T20:07:00.002-06:00

I found out yesterday that I passed my glucose tolterance test - my level was 114.

We didn't get ANY ultrasound pictures last Friday. The best thing we saw in 4d was her hand opening and closing. The us tech said her head was on my right side and her feet on my left and she was stretched out. She was facing my back and very squished. The tech said there was not much room in there.

We are going back tomorrow to try again.

I also didn't gain ANY weight in the past three weeks.

We toured labor and delivery and the NICU!! Everyone was SUPER nice!!!

Tomorrow Burt, Mom, Eli, Noah, and I are headed to Atlanta for the weekend. We have tickets to the Braves games on Sunday and are going to the Aquarium and who knows what else on Saturday!! I am so excited!! This trip was Burt's Father's Day, Anniversary, and Birthday gift!!!

29 week Belly Shots

2009-08-21T19:02:00.002-06:00

I took these last night because some of Mom's friends wanted to see my belly. I was 29w1d in these. This shirt really makes me show!!!

28 weeks 2 days

2009-08-14T18:26:00.000-06:00

Scroll down - 2 Posts Today

Cutie Patootie

2009-08-14T18:25:00.001-06:00

I have finally done it!!! I have a website for my Embroidery Buisness!!! It is still a work in progress so check back often for new items being added.

Cutie Patootie

Ali Anne

2009-08-14T18:16:00.003-06:00

We went to the doctor Monday!! Everything looked GREAT!!! We watched Ali Anne on the ultrasound for a while - she was sucking her tongue!!! TOO CUTE!!! She is transverse with her feet above her head!! She weighs about 2 lb 8 oz. I have gained 13 pounds total and my blood pressure was 105/68. I go back on the 28th and they will do a non-stress test, sugar test, CBC, ultrasound, and 3D ultrasound!!!

Mom and Nannie came last weekend and we finished the nursery and I LOVE it!!! I will take some pictures this weekend and get them up.

Pictures

2009-08-01T18:29:00.008-06:00

Ok - finally the pictures that I promised!! There are tons so make sure you keep scrolling!!

Sidnette's Shower
Trey, Sidnette, and Essi

The Registry Table

The water Bottle holder (I forgot a picture of the water bottles - they had personalized labels on them)

Noah's Birthday Party

25w6d

2009-07-28T16:31:00.003-06:00

Did you notice my ticker?? 99 days to go!! I am in double digits!!! I know that may sound corny, but that is a big deal to me!!! :)

I went to the doctor about 2 weeks ago. Everything looked GREAT!!! Ali Anne was weighing 1 and half!!! She had super fat legs!!! We didn't get any good pictures though!!

My blood pressure was 90/60 and I weighed 134 - I have gained 8 pounds total!!

I went home this past weekend and helped give a baby shower for my cousin and his wife. We also had Noah's 3rd birthday party on Friday night. I took TONS of pictures but they are huge so I am downloading them to the computer tonight and will edit them to make them smaller and post them in the next day or two!!!

22w4d

2009-07-05T18:19:00.002-06:00

Everything is GREAT with Ali Anne!!! She is growing away and I am feeling her move a lot - I LOVE IT!!! I know eventually it will start to drive me nuts but I absolutely love it right now.

Burt and I just got home from a long weekend in Hot Springs. It was so relaxing. Now we have gotten home and realized how much cleaning there is to do in the house and that we have TONS of projects to do to get ready for Ali Anne. I am ordering the fabric for the curtains tomorrow. The bedding should be ready in a week or two. I had it custom made - I hope I like it when it comes in. The furniture should be delivered this week or next. We still have a daybed we need to move out of the baby's room but other than that it is clean and ready to go.

19w6d

2009-06-16T18:32:00.001-06:00

WOW!! So much has happened in the past couple of weeks. I went to see the maternal/fetal specialist, Dr. Perry, last week. He did a targetd ultrasound. My baby girl is perfectly healthy and measuring right on target. Did you catch that - my baby girl - they were WRONG at 16 weeks. No boy parts whatsoever. Ali Anne weighed 9 oz and measured 18w6d (I was 19w1d). I have pictures scanned in but I forgot them at work. I have an appt with Dr. Connell tomorrow so I will post all of the pictures after I scan the new ones in Thursday.

Dr. Perry wants me to have an ultrasound at least once a month. He said that because of the hyopthyroidism, MTHFR, and positive APA that I am high risk for preeclampsia, toxemia, and stillbirth. But he said as long as I take my medicine everything should be fine. So we are going to focus on the positive. He said after 28 weeks they will start watching me REALLY closely b/c at that point they can take the baby if something goes wrong. I also have to see my thyroid dr every 4 weeks - starting tomorrow.

Dr. Perry also increased my heparin dosage to from 5000 units twice a day to 7500 units twice a day and then at 28 weeks I will increase it to 10000 units twice a day.

18w3d

2009-06-06T17:35:00.002-06:00

Meg - are you happy now??? She has been on me for a while to put a ticker on my blog!!

Everything is still going GREAT with the baby. We will go see Dr. Ken Perry - maternal/fetal specialist - Thursday for a target growth ultrasound because I am on heparin.

Burt left early this morning for a business trip to Estes Park, CO. He will be home late Tuesday night. He landed about 11:00 this morning - his luggage just landed. His luggage made a detour through Minneapolis even though he had a direct flight from Memphis to Denver!! The airline said his luggage is out for delivery and he should have it soon though.

I've been sewing all day. Had a few baby gifts for friends that I needed to make and I have been monogramming towels for graduation gifts - yes I know I am behind - but everything with Papaw set me back just a bit!!

16w1d

2009-05-21T19:30:00.001-06:00

I went to the doctor yesterday. Blood pressure was 112/70 and weight was 126. I have gained 3 pounds and am back to pre-pregnancy weight.

Dr. Connell said the baby's head is symmetrical which is a good sign that there is no genetic defects. The umbilical cord is a 3-vessel and the kidneys were working well yesterday. I go see Dr. Perry (Fetal/Maternal Medicine) in 3 weeks.

But the BIG news is.......

It's a BOY!!!

Clay Noell Flanagan is healthy and on target to arrive on November 4th!!!

15w2d - Papaw

2009-05-15T15:36:00.002-06:00

Today is 15w2d. I can't believe it!!! I go back to the doctor Wednesday. I am going home this weekend to see Mom and Nannie.

Papaw passed away peacefully Sunday morning about 9 am. Nannie, Mom, Aunt Ann, Uncle Olyn, Lori, Amy, and I were with him. We had visitation Monday night and the funeral Tuesday afternoon. It was a beautiful service and burial. We had a military graveside service.

Obituary
Funeral services for Talmadge Wesley “Dick” Clay, 83, of Enterprise were at 2 p.m. today at Enterprise Baptist Church. He died May 10, 2009, at Jeff Anderson Regional Medical Center, Meridian. Burial was in Enterprise Cemetery. Robert Barham Family Funeral Home, Meridian, had charge of arrangements.Mr. Clay was born July 31, 1925, in Noxapater to Hollie Talmadge and Abbie McBrayer Clay. He graduated from Noxapater High School in 1943. He married Virginia Murphy of Louisville on July 26, 1947, and they moved to Enterprise in 1952. He was a member of Enterprise Baptist Church and enjoyed more than anything fishing and playing with his great-grandchildren.Mr. Clay earned the rank of sergeant first class in the 186th Railroad Operating Battalion and served at the Battle of the Bulge during World War II. After being discharged from the Army, he worked for GM&O Railroad for a few years before going to work for Southern Natural Gas in 1949 where he worked until he retired in 1985.He was preceded in death by his parents and a sister, Helen Chambliss.

Survivors include his wife, Virginia; three children, Ann (Sonny) Turnage of Meridian, Olyn “Sonny” (Gaytha) Clay of Aberdeen and Susan Moore of Enterprise; brothers, Mantel (Betty) of Louisville and Charles (Patricia) of Georgetown, Texas; a sister, Sylvia (Carlos) Cordon of Franklin, N.C.; seven grandchildren, Trey (Sidnette) Turnage of Brandon, Lori (Kenny) McGowin of Enterprise, Rae (Scott) Taylor of Orlando, Fla., Brandi (Nicolas) Johansson of Sweden, Wes Clay of Aberdeen, Amy (Todd) Brand of Meridian and Beth (Burt) Flanagan of Greenville; and six great-grandchildren, Essi Morales Turnage, Anna Kate McGowin, Macy Taylor, Mya Johansson, and Eli and Noah Brand. Mr. Clay was anxiously awaiting the arrival of three more great-grandchildren.Pallbearers were Clint Lee, Kenneth Murray, Cecil Melton, Steve Helms, John McPhearson, Wayne Kidd, Randy Kidd, and James Robert Kamper. Honorary pallbearers were Butch Goodin, Noffett Boggan, Charles Helms, Jimmy Helms, Dan Kersh, Mark Kidd and the Eugene Walker Sunday School Class.Visitation was Monday from 5 to 9 p.m. at Robert Barham Family Funeral Home, and one hour prior to service at the church.The Rev. Taylor Wallace, the Rev. Richard Cothern and the Rev. Arlis Nichols officiated.

14w2d

2009-05-08T10:19:00.002-06:00

I'm ok. Things are good. The baby is fine.

My Papaw had a massive stroke last Friday night and is not doing well. He is paralyzed on his left side and his esophagus is completely closed. The doctors told us yesterday that he is slowly deteriorating and that what we have now is the best it will ever be. That it is only a matter of time until he passes. Nannie, Mom, Aunt Ann, and Uncle Olyn decided yesterday to slowly start withdrawing everything from him. We decided as he pulled tubes out we would leave them out. The doctors say that he is not in any pain but that if any starts they will keep him comfortable. He pulled out the feeding tube (which they were only using for meds) and the trumpet tube used to suction his chest yesterday. Today he has pulled out his IV. He has pneumonia now.

We have had a very special week with Papaw. We figure he will pass sometime over the weekend. I have been home since Sunday and don't want to leave but I guess if nothing has happened I will go home on Sunday. I had about 10 minutes alone with him yesterday and we talked and I was able to say good-bye. I had some things that I needed to say that I really didn't want the rest of the family to hear. I had a very special relationship with my Papaw. He helped raise me after my Dad left when I was a young girl. He was the only male role model I ever had - he was my Daddy. He even walked me down the aisle to my Mom when I got married.

Tuesday night it looked like it was the end. All of the family happened to be here and he asked for all of us. The ICU nurses have been WONDERFUL. They allow us to go in anytime we want as long as there is nothing going on back there and they let as many of us go in at a time as we want. So there were like 10 of us in there that night. He told us he wanted to pray so we did, then he wanted us to sing - so my sister and I sang to him, and then he wanted us to say the blessing so we did. He then told us he was ready to go home and see Jesus and to stand him up. we told him we were all standing and he could go on home.

Today he still recognizes all of us but it very weak and only stays awake about long enough to say "I Love You". He did tell us today not to cry. He was going to be fine.

I will try to keep you updated as things change. I just got my laptop here at the hospital.

Nannie and Mom, Aunt Ann, and Uncle Olyn sat down and planned his funeral earlier in the week before Nannie got too tired and weak. We are going to pick out the casket tomorrow. I wrote the obituary yesterday. We were worried if Nannie waited she would be too upset to remember what Papaw wanted.

I had another ultrasound yesterday. The hospital was gracious enough to do it for me giving the circumstances. We were hoping that we would find out what it was so we could tell Papaw but the tech couldn't tell - so I'm thinking a girl b/c we knew 2 of my nephews were boys this early. I could be wrong though - it could be a stinky 'ol boy!!!! Nannie is putting a picture of the great-grandchildren in his casket and she wanted an ultrasound picture to go in there too and that is what really prompted us to go get an updated ultrasound photo done.

11w3d

2009-04-18T15:18:00.005-06:00

It's been a very busy past two weeks for us - sorry for such a long time between updates.

First, on April 6th our newest nephew, James Bradyn, was born. This is Burt's sister's 3rd child. They are all doing well and Bradyn looks just like his Dad!!!

Then I went home for Easter. Burt stayed here b/c he felt like he needed to be at the church and since as time gets closer for the baby to arrive he will have to take me everytime I want to go home since it is such as long drive that he needed to be at the church for Easter. That Friday night we all went and watch Eli play baseball. I can't believe it - I have NO pictures at all of the entire weekend. The next morning we went to Eli and Noah's Easter Egg Hunt at Bonita Lakes that was hosted by their church. They really went all out. We had an excellent time!!! Afterwards we flew kites at the lake for a while. Then Amy and Todd took the boys home to take a nap and Mom and I drove to Hattiesburg. There is a baby store there that I absolutely love. They sell a chair that I have alwaus wanted if I was ever able to conceive. I went with the intentions of pricing it and picking out fabric for it but I ended up buying it!!! I can't wait for it to come in - I will post pics then!!! It is khaki minky material!!! Then we met the fam for supper and then went to Wal-Mart to buy supplies for Eli's science project that was due the next week. The next day was Easter and we went to church and then all the fam was at Nannie and Papaw's house and we hid eggs over and over and over again for the kids and made Eli's science project - it was a replica of Apollo 13 which his teacher said was Fabulous and gave him 10 extra points b/c his had the most work put into it!!! Way to go E-Man!!! The weather was horrible that night - tornados everywhere - so I stayed with Mom one more night and drove back early the next morning.

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday the 14th with Dr. Isaacs at 10w6d. He released me and told me everything looked GREAT!! Here are the pictures!!! The baby was moving around and cutting flips and waving at us!!

Then yesterday I had a little scare. I started spotting just a tiny little bit about 9 am. I called my OB and luckily they were in the office. I told the nurse that I had a yeast infection and I thought that was all it was but she told m to come right then to the doctor. I got there and had a very detailed ultrasound. We saw the placenta and my cervix and the baby's bladder - everything!!! My OB came in for the ultrasound and immediately said everything looked good - there was no free fluid in my uterus and if I am miscarrying that blood will fill my uterus or stomach before I start seeing it on the outside. He said it was probably caused by the yeast infection and all of the meds that I am taking. I am to take it easy all weekend and come back Tuesday for my regular OB appointment. The baby was 11w2d but measured 11w3d!!! Last night we started rearranging the furinture that I already have in the nursery and cleaning that room (it has mostly been used for storage) annd mvoing some furniture from other places in the house in there. My spare bedroom furniture matches what I am buying for the nursery and I didn't need all of that in the spare room so I swiped some of it last night.

9w3d

2009-04-04T09:06:00.003-06:00

I went back to see Dr. Isaacs on Thursday. Everything looked great with the baby. He/she was dancing around and cutting flips and sucking his/her thumb. I will go back on April 14th when I go see Dr. Dyess too.

8w3d

2009-03-28T15:53:00.002-06:00

I forgot to post about my fist appointment with my thyroid doctor - Dr. Dyess. I have had Hoshimoto's Thyroiditis since I was 16 (or at least that is when they found it). We kept it under control with medication for a while, but in 2004 it went completely nuts and nothing seemed to control it. My scans came back inconclusive for cancer and just the thought of having cancer scared me to death - so we removed my entire thyroid in July 2004. Luckily, it wasn't cancer. Except for a couple of flare ups here and there, Dr. Dyess has been able to keep my thyroid levels under control. He had always told me when I got pregnant that we would have to increase my dosage of hormones several times. The few pregnancies that I have made it to 6 weeks, I have gone to see him at that point and my levels have been fine. So I thought nothing of going to see him the same day as my 6 week ultrasound at Dr. Isaacs office. The nurse called and gave me my levels. Normal is .5-5 and mine was 18.86. This totally freaked me out. Dr. D increased my synthroid level from .100 mcg to .137 mcg (that is up 3 dosage levels). At that appointment I weighed 126. I go back April 14th for a recheck.

So far it appears that LM (Little Miracle) is doing just fine. I went to see Dr. Connell (my OB) yesterday and he said everything looked normal and GREAT. He said that he was going to try to treat me as normally as possible but that I would have to see Dr. Perry - the fetal/maternal specialist in Jackson several times and that I would have TONS of ultrasounds to check for fetal growth b/c of the heparin. Supposedly heparin babies are healthy but small - so looks like no 9 pound baby for me (SWEET! My husband is 6' 6" tall and weighs close to 300). I have Dr. C's cell phone number and he told me to call if I needed anything and that he has already told his family that if I call - everything else STOPS!!! I LOVE HIM!!! Yesterday I weighed 125 and my blood pressure was 100/64. The ultrasound technician couldn't come in for some reason yesterday so Dr. C rolled the portable machine into my exam room and did the us himself. He is NOT very good at that. We were able to see the baby and the hb and what is left of the yolk sac but we didn't get a good picture b/c he couldn't keep the wand still while he pressed the button. MEN - Go figure!! I will post the picture soon though - I haven't scanned it yet.

Future Appointments:
Dr. Isaacs - Thursday
Dr. Dyess - April 14th
Dr. Connell - April 20th

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!

I am still in awe at how much God has chosen to bless us!!

7w3d

2009-03-21T16:31:00.012-06:00

WOW!!! I am in amazement at everything that has happened the last two weeks. I apologize for not updating but we have been super busy and I am so tired by the time I come home from work and I get queasy starting about 3:00 in the afternoon. I haven't been sick yet though!!! WOO-HOO!!!!

Our first ultrasound was at 6w1d on March 12th!! we saw and heard the heartbeat. Dr. I said everything looked completely normal!! I was so excited to hear that. I have NEVER been normal!!! Hearing the heartbeat was surreal!!!

I had another ultrasound this past Thursday on the 19th at 7w1d and the baby had grown and the sac had grown and we could discern the body of the baby. The heartbeat was stronger and the CRL was 9 which measured 6w6d. So everything once again looked exactly where it should. Dr. I said I was starting to look boring!!! Music to my ears!!

I will have my first OB appointment this Friday in Vicksburg and will get to have another ultrasound. I am loving getting weekly ultrasounds!!!

Here are the pictures that I have scanned in. I didn't get them all scanned in because Mom came to both of my ultrasounds and I let her take a picture home from each to show off and Burt has one from each week on his desk at work.

I can't believe that there is a little person inside of me with a heart that is beating away!!!

6w1d - March 12th

7w1d - March 19th

5 weeks 3 days

2009-03-07T14:39:00.003-06:00

That's where I am today!! I got home from Lubbock about 11:30 Thursday night. I drove to Jackson yesterday to get my beta hcg checked. I have been a nervous wreck b/c they didn't call me so I paged the nurse on call today. Turns out they left me a message on my office phone yesterday - don't know what's up with that. Anyway at 5wk2d my beta hcg was 4692. That's a doubling time of 1.82 days!!! In January (the first, last, and only time in 5 other pregnancies that I have gotten good hcgs initially) at this same point my hcg was only 2163. So for today I feel good about this pregnancy. Did I actually type that out???? I have to call on Monday and schedule an appointment for an ultrasound for one day next week.

4wk5d

2009-03-02T20:22:00.002-06:00

I am so sorry it has been so long between posts. My beta hcg was 329 on Friday (doubling time of 1.4 days) which is still great!! I will have it rerun this Friday when I get back from Lubbock. I went to see Mom for her birthday over the weekend and then drove to Lubbock, TX today with a co-worker for a workshop. I am EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!

IUI #7 - 14 dpiui

2009-02-25T20:05:00.004-06:00

123!!!! That was my beta HCG!!!! My nurse said it is WONDERFUL!!! Praise God!!!!

I go back Friday for a repeat beta.

Thank you all for your prayers. Here is our new list:
We are praying:
1) That we will have strength to accept whatever the results are Friday
2) That we will have courage and grace to handle the results
3) That we will get a STRONG DOUBLING 2nd beta
4) That in all of this God would be honored and glorified.

We are so excited (Leslie if you are reading this - we haven't told Mom and Dad - please don't tell them)!!!!!

IUI #7 - 13dpiui

2009-02-24T17:28:00.011-06:00

Tomorrow at 9 am is my beta. I am ssssssoooo nervous and so scared. I got a positive yesterdy and today (although today's was a little lighter than last nights) and I also got a positive on a digital this morning. I am so scared though that my hcg isn't rising appropriately. I have also been taking those tests Dr. Connell's office gave me and they don't seem to be getting ANY darker.

I have been in this same place 5 times before - at least I am not spotting thought and I have had fairly strong hpts unlike the last 2 times. I am trying to be strong and have faith but I am so, so, so scared. Please keep us in your prayers tomorrow. I will update as soon as I can.

We are praying:
1) That we will have strength to accept whatever the results are tomorrow
2) That we will have courage and grace to handle the results
3) That we will get a STRONG beta - over 100 would be EXCELLENT and over 171 would be OUT OF THIS WORLD (the last viable pregnancy I had was 171 on 14dpiui).
4) That in all of this God would be honored and glorified.

Here was last night's test - remember it wasn't quite as dark today - and I don't have pictures today:

Susan's Shower

2009-02-23T17:37:00.010-06:00

2 friends of mine and I hosted a baby shower for our friend Susan at my house on Saturday. Susan is the one whose wedding I decorated for and directed back in August of 2007. She is due March 31st. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of Susan, but here are pictures of some of the things we made for the shower.

Here is the cake that I made. A friend (who decorates cakes) was supposed to make it for me but she got the flu last week. So I had no other choice but to try to make it myself. It is not real GREAT but it was my first shot at decorating a cake.

Here is Susan's gift from me:
The wreath that I made for the door:

And here is the diaper giraffe that Me, Mona, and Monica made:

IUI #7 - cd19 - 7 dpiui

2009-02-18T20:15:00.002-06:00

I guess I've just always assumed that everyone knew what my abbreviations meant. I'm so sorry. To clarify. IUI is intrauterine insemination and dpiui is days past IUI. If anyone wants to know what any other abbreviation means, please leave me a comment and let me know.

If you read my blog regularly will you please leave me a comment and let me know. I am so curious!!! I also want to "meet" you by reading your blog!!

Today was my 7dpiui Progesterone check. My P4 was greater than 20 which the nurse said was WONDERFUL!! Over 10 is good for a regular cycle and over 15 is good for a medicated cycle. My clinic's machine stops counting at 20 so I don't know how high it really is but since it is not an indicator of anything other than ovulation and the ability to sustain a pregnancy and it just has to be greater than 20 I guess it doesn't matter. It wouldn't tell me anything different if it was 25 or 250.

I took a test today! Yes, Mom. I did. You don't have to ask. I was checking to see if my HCG trigger shot was out of my system yet so that next week I don't get a false positive if I get a positive at all. Well, it was negative so I am excited about that. Some months it gets out really quick and some months it has taken forever to get out!!

IUI #7 - cd 14 - 2 dpiui

2009-02-13T19:41:00.002-06:00

I had the IUI on Wednesday. Everything went GREAT!!! My nurse said that if this one works then she is claiming custody of the baby every 3rd weekend!!!! :)

Now we wait....

I got to see my best friend from college and her baby and her Mom on Wednesday too. We had a nice lunch and got to eat and play with the Baby for a while. (Hey Meg, Mom, and Katie Margaret!!!! - I've missed you guys so much and I can't wait to see you again).

"But these things I plan won't happen right away.
Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place.
It will not be late by a single day."
~ Habakkuk 2:3

We have a Valentine Banquet at church tomorrow night so my sweet husband took off work early today and bought me roses and had dinner ready when I came home from work!! He also bought me a Gail Pittman Coffee Table in my pattern!!! He is the BEST!!

IUI #7 - cd 10

2009-02-09T20:22:00.001-06:00

Trigger tonight. IUI Wednesday. Should ovulate between 2-4 eggs!!! Dr. I says everything looks TERRIFIC!!

IUI #7 - cd 9

2009-02-08T21:37:00.002-06:00

Friday Burt and I took off at lunch at went to Jackson to spend the night. We ran errands all afternoon Friday and then met Mom and KK for dinner. Saturday morning I had to be at Dr. I's office at 9:00 for me cd 8 follicle check. I had tons of follicles. The nurse asked halfway through the first ovary scan if we were still on the same ovary. I basically had 4 large follicles (16, 15, 14, 13) and a whole bunch more under 10. All of those were on my right side which I was glad to see b/c usually the biggest ones are on the left side. Dr. I said that I would probably ovulate 3-4 follicles which is borderline too many but he saw no reason to stop right now. I will go back in the morning for another check.

After the doctor appointment we went to Essi's birthday party at Pump It Up. It is a place in Jackson that has a whole bunch of super cool blow up jumpy things!!! The kids had a BLAST!!!

Then we ALL went to the Rodeo. I forgot my camera and so did Mom but Lori took a whole bunch of pictures so when she sends them this week I will post them!!!

And we're off....IUI#7 cd3

2009-02-02T17:02:00.003-06:00

Today is cd 3 and you know what that means!!! I went to see Dr. Isaacs today to get my ultrasound done and my FSH and Estrogen checked. Everything was great. He said my ovaries looked TERRIFIC!! I start my Repronex tonight. I have already started the heparin. I started it Saturday. I am also already taking my Folgard twice a day. I will go back on Saturday for a follicle check. IUI will probably be sometime middle of next week!!!
Essi's birthday party is Saturday. I have no idea what I am going to buy her. I bought her a new outfit a few weeks ago and have already given it to her, but I have to have something for the party. Anybody got any ideas. I'm not even sure exactly how old she is. I know that is horrible of me. She will either be 6 or 7 - I'm thinking 6. She is very athletic and loves to be outside but she loves getting all dresses up too!!! Maybe I'll just get her a doll and some "Target Money" (gift card)!!!

Updates

2009-01-23T17:52:00.003-06:00

I just realized that I haven't given any updates lately. Not much is happening. I have started back teaching two nights a week and I am still sewing. Someone asked me what kind of stuff I embroider. EVERYTHING!!! I sell bibs, burp cloths, receiving blankets, adult and youth fleeces, onsies, baby outfits. I am going to "try" to get a website going soon. I have been working on it a little bit but I have been so busy sewing that I haven't had much time to work on it. I may just take some pictures and have Burt upload them and then I will have to make the page "cutie patootie"!!!

I talked with Dr. Kutteh and Dr. Isaacs last week. I can do another Repronex/IUI cycle on the next one. Maybe this time next week I will be back on injections!!!!

I am so EXCITED that it is Friday!!! I can't wait to put my jammies on and relax all weekend.

Hey Mom!!!

2009-01-19T10:06:00.001-06:00

Mom found out about my blog this weekend!!! I am so glad you came to visit this weekend, Mom!!! I love you!!!

Blog Makeover

2009-01-09T19:42:00.002-06:00

My blog is about to get a makeover!!! I am so excited!!! What a way to start out 2009!!!

Go check out Designer Blogs by Erin!!!!

And to celebrate her grand opening - she is having a SALE!!!!!!!

It's Friday!!!!

2009-01-09T18:28:00.004-06:00

I am so pumped that it's Friday. I still have a TON of Christmas decorations to put up though. I have taken them down but haven't put them up so it should be a LONG weekend!!! I just remembered that I never posted the pictures of my house that I took at Christmas!! Oh well...maybe soon...they are on my computer at work.

I called Dr. I on Tuesday and asked the nurse to get him to decide on my next protocol and call me. She said that she was going to call Dr. C to get my path report and give it to Dr. I so he would have it in his hands when he called Dr. K to discuss what's next. So I hadn't heard anything at 11:00 today so I called Dr. I's office and talked to the nurse. She said she never got the path report and that whoever she talked to acted like it wasn't back. I assured her it was back and told her I would call. I called the direct line to Dr. C's nurse and she said that she hadn't talked to anyone from Dr. I's office. She said that they probably talked to the front desk girl who can't even access my records and didn't give them the message but that she would fax it immediately and call right then and talk to Dr. I's nurse. So hopefully Dr. I got the path report this afternoon and will talk to Dr. K on Monday or Tuesday. Dr. I's office closed at noon today.

My dentist appt on Tuesday was ok. No cavities but he said I either cracked my tooth or damaged a ligament in my tooth. I didn't know teeth had ligaments!!! He told me to baby it for a few days and if it didn't get any better he would have to put a crown on it. Ugh!!! That is not pleasant - I already have one.

Post-Op

2009-01-05T19:15:00.002-06:00

I had my post-op appointment today. Everything went GREAT. Of course, like I said last week, we don't know why the baby didn't make it.

Dr. Connell's nurse felt sorry for me today and gave me 20 pregnancy tests to take home with me and told me just to come back and get more when I need them!!! SWEET!!!

I guess I will call Dr. Isaacs office tomorrow and see when I can come see him. I have a dentist appt tomorrow too to get my teeth cleaned and I think I have a cavity. YUCK!!!!

We didn't do too much to ring in the New Year. We did kick 2008 to the curb though!! Lots of tears - lots of heartache we were able to say good-bye to. Hopefully 2009 will be a much better year!!! (But I have been saying that every January for the past 5 years).

I'm Still Alive

2008-12-30T19:55:00.002-06:00

I'm back home and back at work. I had the D&C last Monday and went home with Mom after the surgery. Everything went well. I had some blood pressure problems but they got it under control in a fairly short time. Christmas was good. I, of course, lost it on Christmas Eve. Luckily only Mom and Burt were there. Christmas Day was better. Everyday has gotten easier. Dr. Connell called me Sunday night and said my pathology report came back but it didn't show anything. I will go back for my Post-Op on Monday and I guess go back to Dr. Isaacs from there. Dr. Kutteh called and said to start the heparin the day of the IUI next time.

Other than that - I'm just sewing away. That is all I did before Christmas. I thought I was done but I came home to 3 more big orders. I don't mind though - it's paying off my machine!!!!

HCG 169

2008-12-19T18:56:00.001-06:00

D & C Monday

Aunt Betty is in rehab and doing GREAT!!! Thank you all so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. Please keep them coming.

HCG 145

2008-12-17T20:23:00.001-06:00

I went back to the doctor today to get another beta HCG run. It was supposed to be 0 but it was 145. Not sure what we are dealing with here. We know it is not a viable pregnancy. We just don't know if it is in my uterus or tubes. I will go back on Friday to repeat the HCG and maybe an ultrasound and if I haven't started bleeding or spotting or if my levels haven't gone down then I will have a D&C early next week.

I talked to Dr. Isaacs, Dr. Connell, and Dr. Kutteh today. Dr. Kutteh says that next injectibles/IUI round to start heparin on day of IUI.

IUI #6 - 17 dpiui - Beta #2

2008-12-10T19:40:00.003-06:00

16

Miscarriage #5

Aunt Betty is much better. I spent the day at the hospital with her. The doctor said that if someone has to have a stroke where she had it is the right place in her brain.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers!!

Aunt Betty

2008-12-09T19:17:00.002-06:00

My aunt appears to have had a massive stroke. Her brain is still bleeding and now she is having seizures. She has woken up but she doesn't know anyone. They have sedated her again and put her on a ventilator to transfer her to a bigger hospital - in Jackson. Unfortunately, when they got ready to put her on the ambulance the hospital called and said the bed they had for her had been taken by another patient. That was at 2:00 this afternoon. They still haven't transferred her. They are starting to look at other hospitals but are hoping to transfer her on during the night.

Please keep her, my Uncle Mantel, and my entire family in your prayers.

IUI #6 - 15 dpiui - Beta #1

2008-12-08T20:44:00.002-06:00

19.5....CRAP!!! Very low...not as low as last time but still very low.

My Mom called tonight. My great-aunt - who with her husband never had any children and therefore treated us like we were their grandchildren - had surgery today to remove pins from her broken arm, had a stroke when she was waking up from surgery and hasn't woken up yet. They did get her awake briefly but she was incoherent. My uncle is all alone at the hospital in Starkville and just called us and it will take 3 hours to get there for any of us so we are all trying to decide what to do. Burt and I want to go right now but with the day we have had, no one really wants us traveling. Please keep my family in your prayers tonight.

IUI #6 - 10dpiui

2008-12-03T20:13:00.001-06:00

HPT negative today so trigger is finally out of my system. Beta is scheduled for Monday. This past Monday my P4 > 20.

I had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving with my family and then Monday night we had ornament exchange at church!! It was so much fun!! So many tears shed over what the past year has brought so many people - blessings and heartaches!!!

For Melissa

2008-11-24T21:54:00.002-06:00

Melissa,

Please email me at bethflanagan79@yahoo.com

To try to answer your questions I need to ask you a few....

1) How long are your cycles? If you are using an OPK you should start testing around cd 11 or 12. 18 is WAY to late.

2) Where do you live and are you using an OB/GYN or a Reproductive Endocrinologist?

3) About clomid and trigger. You most definitely can use clomid and take a trigger shot that same cycle. After we realized that clomid wasn't going to work for me I moved on to Letrozole, which is basically the same thing as clomid but works differently. The first IUI with Letrozole I used an OPK before the IUI. I got pregnant on that cycle. The other Letrozole/IUI cycles I used a trigger shot. My RE would do vaginal ultrasounds to check my follicle growth until ovulation. When he thought I was ready, I would trigger and then have the IUI 36 hours later.

I know how hard this is for you and not having anyone who can relate can make this even harder. Please know that my husband and I are praying for you and feel free to ask us questions ANYTIME!!!

IUI #6 - 1dpiui

2008-11-24T16:12:00.002-06:00

I had the IUI yesterday. Everything went well. Burt's count was 498 million. My favorite nurse did it and it didn't hurt much at all. I then went shopping with Mama, Amy, Todd, and Noah while Burt and Eli went to the church to pick up the bus and the youth - we went to the Third Day Concert last night. It was AWESOME!!! I think I ovulated around 4:00 pm yesterday b/c all of a sudden I was doubled over with cramps - not pain - just really hard CRAMPS. Now we wait....

Eli and I have been hanging out and relaxing all day. We didn't get home till 1:30 am so he slept until 11:00 this morning. Friends are coming over tonight to play the Wii.

Ugh!!!

2008-11-22T09:52:00.001-06:00

I have been feeling queasy for 4 days along with the headaches. At 9:30 last night I started vomiting. I feel better so far this morning - just weak!!

Trigger Tonight

2008-11-21T19:03:00.002-06:00

I went for my follicle check yesterday!!! My lining was at 9 and I had 9 follicle. The left had sizes 10, 10, 10, 15, 15, 16 and the right had 12, 13, 14. I will trigger tonight and have the IUI Sunday at 9 AM and my favorite nurse Kathryn gets to do it!!!

I am about to complain for a minute - but please don't think I am simply "complaining". I am writing this down in my "journal" - my blog. I feel terrible. I have been queasy for 4 days and have had a migraine for 2. I have no idea what it is. I didn't feel this way with the last shot cycle.

IUI #6 - cd 7

2008-11-18T18:59:00.002-06:00

Still taking the Repronex. My tummy is killing me - not that I am complaining, but it does hurt really bad.

I did something today that some of my friends and family think I shouldn't have done. I called my OB/GYN. I wanted to see what gender the baby was that I lost in February. They did genetics tests so I knew they would know. The nurse told me that they didn't tell me - they were waiting for me to ask. They didn't want to add salt to my wounds. Well......it was a little girl. I'm glad I found out but it is a little bittersweet. I will take whatever I can get and BE THRILLED - but my dream has always been to have a little curly red-headed girl. I'm ok. In fact I was fine talking to a friend who was with me when the nurse called and I was fine talking to the nurse. I didn't get upset until I told Burt. He was pretty upset. I think just b/c it was almost like it wasn't real at times, but now it is. Now I wonder what the other 3 are but of ocurse, I can never know. It's easier that way - in a way. Knowing that I had the option of knowing and didn't know killed me. But it doesn't really bother me that I don't know the others - I guess becuase I know that I CAN'T know.

2 more shots until my follicle check!!!

My husband is in the kitchen making me homemade potato soup for supper - YUM!!!

IUI#6 - cd 5

2008-11-16T22:08:00.002-06:00

I went to the doctor on Friday for an ovary check and estrogen and FSH check. Everything was fine and I started my Repronex injections Friday night. I had the third one tonight!! I will go back to the doctor Thursday for a follicle check and will have the IUI probably sometime next weekend!!

Friday we went to the MPSA Class AAA Division 2 State Football Championship and we won!! Go Gens!!! 3 of the youth at our church play and we are so proud of them!!!

We decorated some more for Christmas this weekend. I am almost done. I don't want to post any pictures until I am completely done though.

I have jury duty tomorrow. I hope I am not seated as a juror. It's not that I just don't want to do jury duty but with my cycle this is not a good week!!! I have a letter from my doctor so I hope that is enough to get me out of it!!

Info

2008-11-12T21:11:00.003-06:00

Dr. Kutteh's office called and all of my labwork is back and everything was normal except for the MTHFR and Antiphospholipid antibodies. YAY!!! Not that its good that those are bad - but we knew about those 2 so yay that nothing else is wrong.

My cycle started today so I am going to see DR. Isaacs on Friday to have my ultrasound and labwork to start the Repronex injections Friday night - IUI sometime next week!!!

My sister's MTHFRE labwork came back today - she has the EXACT mutations I do....apparently very rare. Her's are just not active. She is now on the aspirin and folgard daily!!!!

I have pictures of our house but I still haven't gotten them off of the camera - maybe this weekend!!!

Nothing New

2008-11-07T20:07:00.003-06:00

Burt and I put up 2 of our 3 Christmas trees last weekend. I am finishing the last one tonight. Our house is a wreck - Christmas boxes/decorations EVERYWHERE!! I am working on my ornaments for ornament exchange at church too!! I will post pics of all of this when I get the house clean. I went to Mistletoe Marketplace with Mom and Amy yesterday. We had a BLAST!! After we finished there - we went shopping all over Jackson!!

Still waiting for my cycle to start - should be soon!!! Once it starts I have been given the go-ahead to do another Repronex/IUI cycle!!

Appt with Dr. Kutteh

2008-10-22T16:00:00.002-06:00

I went to Memphis yesterday to see Dr. Kutteh. I apologize for the late update but this was too long to text to some of you and we didn't get home until midnight last night and then Mom didn't leave until 2:00 today!!!

Dr. Kutteh is very optimistic about my chances of carrying to term. He said that my MTHFR (the first clotting disorder they found) is worse than we thought. He said that when I walked into his office yesterday that I had a 20% chance of carrying a baby to term. He gave me some medication and said if I take it I will have a 75% chance of carrying to term - which is the same chance as any healthy 30 year old woman. So if I take my medicine - I will be NORMAL!!!

Now for the medicine. I am to continue taking my Primacare One (pre-natal vitamin), baby aspirin, and Synthroid (thyroid medicine) everyday but I am to add 1 Folgard Rx pill a day. This has 2.2 mg of Folic Acid, B6 and B12. When I get pregnant - I am to continue the Primacare One and aspirin but increase synthroid and increase the Folgard to 2 pills a day. I am also to use heparin twice a day instead of Lovenox once per day. Dr. Kutteh himself has been conducting research on this.

He said that as soon as my next cycle starts - in about a month - I can start trying again.

He said had I carried my previous 4 pregnancies to term the babies would have died after birth from neural tube defects.

What is this???

2008-10-19T19:59:00.003-06:00

My period has started - on cd 18!!! My cycles are usually about 31 days. Anyone who has had a scope - did it mess up your cycle????

Ugh

2008-10-15T19:39:00.002-06:00

Long Day.

We had our first trunk show. It was a small one and we made about $300. Not too bad...

My mitochondrial bacteria swab test came back negative - that is good.

A student at school tonight announced to me and the class that I don;t understand what it means to be stressed because I "don't got no kids".

Friend at church is pregnant. And I wouldn't mind so much, but her husband told her he didn't want anymore children (they have 1) and she announced to us that she didn't care - he doesn't control that - she does. That really makes me angry when women act like that. You are a TEAM!!!

Uterine Evaluation

2008-10-09T19:47:00.001-06:00

The uterine evaluation went well. My uterus is perfect. There was not even any scar tissue from the previous miscarriages. It was very painful because they had trouble finding my cervix. While I was there they went ahead and took a swab from my cervix to culture for mitochondrial bacteria. IF it comes back positive I will have to take some antibiotics.

Uterine Evaluation

2008-10-06T16:55:00.002-06:00

My uterine evaluation (scope) is scheduled for Wednesday at 10:00 am.

Always the Aunt

2008-10-05T20:36:00.002-06:00

I guess I will always be the Aunt - it's apparently what I do best!!! Burt's sister is pregnant and having a boy!

New Business

2008-10-03T18:05:00.002-06:00

I have gone into business with a friend - that is why I haven't been blogging much. Between my full-time job, my part-time teaching job, and opening the business, I have been EXTREMELY busy!!! Our business isn't COMPLETELY open yet. we have a booth setup in my partner's sign shop. Our business is called Cutie Patootie!!! We specialize in personalized/monogrammed gifts. We are currently having home parties!! If you live within a couple of hours of me and want to host a party - let me know!!!! We take orders and you and your guests will receive it within a couple of weeks. We have gifts for all ages/sexes!!!

Dr. Isaacs office called me on Monday. Dr. Kutteh's office needs me to have a uterine evaluation before I come to see him on the 21st. The uterine evaluation consists of a cystoscopy and hysteroscopy. They will be done in the office and I will be awake. Now, the nurse says it only takes a few minutes and doesn't hurt bad, but I am a little nervous about a camera going into the Netherregions and filling up my uterus with water while I am awake. I have no idea when I will have this done. It has to be done between when my period finishes and ovulation. My cycle started today so I figure I will have it done sometime late next week!!!

GREAT news!!!

2008-09-25T21:23:00.002-06:00

Burt and I got our karyotyping results back today and it was completely normal. we are genetically compatible. We can continue trying to have children!!!!

Updates

2008-09-21T16:53:00.002-06:00

WOW!!! It has been a crazy busy month!!! Not a lot has happened - it has just been busy!!! Mom and the boys were here this weekend. We had so much fun.

On the fertility front - nothing has changed. I went back to see Dr. Isaacs on September 3 and he did a karyotyping type but it is not back yet. He also referred me to another specialist - one that specializes in Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. Dr. Kutteh is in Memphis. I will go see him on October 21st and I can't wait. The way Dr. I explained it to me is that Dr. Kutteh will run some tests and see if he can find the "missing puzzle piece" and then I will go back to Dr. I for treatment. I will keep you posted as it goes.

Burt just left for Nashville. He is going to a Youth Minister's Leadership Conference at Lifeway this week!!

To Answer Comments

2008-09-01T08:50:00.003-06:00

First of all, who left me the comment with another doctor's contact information?

Also, Heather, yes, I was on Prometrium 200mg twice a day from IUI until this past week and I was having my progesterone checked along with the beta's and everything looked GREAT!! I thought maybe my progesterone was low too, but it kept coming back fine!! Who knows!!!

Thanks everyone for your prayers and support!!

Praise Him When I'm Up! Praise Him When I'm Down!!

2008-08-29T19:09:00.002-06:00

That has been my motto for a while now and this week that is exactly what I had to do. I was so bummed last week. I was excited that my beta had doubled last Wednesday and that I started the Lovenox but Wednesday night I started to bleed. Very little. But it was definitely red. It got a little heavier Thursday and a little heavier Friday. I decided Friday night that I might like to buy a new embroidery machine. I have been doing A LOT of contact work for a sign company here in town. My little machine just wasn't cutting it. I wanted to go to the shop in Meridian where I bought my first machine and I also wanted to see my Mom. I needed my Mom. I got up early last Saturday morning and drove to Meridian and bought a new machine!!! I bought a Brother PR-620. It is a 6 needle machine!! I love it. We have spent all week setting it up and organizing my sewing room. I finally got to stitch some tonight and I LOVE IT!!! Saturday I started bleeding pretty heavy and it only increased on Sunday. Monday morning I took another pregnancy test and it was very dark. I got my beta redrawn Monday morning and it was 64.1. The nurse said it was still good. It had increased by about 64% every two days. She said it wasn't ideal by any means but it was still good. She said they like to see at least 60%. Bleeding slowed down on Monday and Tuesday but about 3:30 Monday afternoon I felt this HUGE gush (TMI - I'm sssooo sorry). I was bleeding VERY heavy. I was scared. I came home and it didn't stop so I paged the nurse on call and Dr. Isaacs called me back. He told me to stop all of my medicine and to call them the next day. They called me about 7:30 the next morning and by then the bleeding had stopped. The nurse told me to come in that afternoon (Wednesday) and have my levels redrawn if I wanted to - it was totally up to me. So you know what I did - I took my 9th trip to Dr. I's office this month. The level had dropped to 34. I stopped all medication and I am to go back to the office on Tuesday morning to have the level redrawn and when it gets to negative we will sit down and discuss where we go from here. Thanks everyone for all of your prayers this week! I am of course sad but I am going to make it!!

Heavy Heart

2008-08-22T17:53:00.003-06:00

I write tonight with a heavy heart. It has been a long week. Last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I got positive pregnancy tests. I didn't tell anyone. They were faint but definitely positive. Monday I went in for my already scheduled beta. It was 7.2 . I knew it would be low but not that low. Mondays HPT was negative. I was devastated. I knew I was having my 4th miscarriage. The doctors office confirmed it for me. The hardest part was that I got the call while sitting in the hospital room of a friend who had just delivered her baby. Pretty ironic, huh. Dr. I's office told me to come back on Wednesday for a recheck of my hcg levels. I didn't test anymore. Well, Wednesday morning I started spotting brown. I had had some off and on brown spotting since Sunday but nothing bad. Wednesday it was fairly consistent. I knew the news would be bad. But the call came in and my levels actually DOUBLED.....I couldn't believe it, neither could the nurse. She said maybe I had miscarried a twin and that this one implanted late. Wednesday was 17dpiui so even with levels doubling, 16 was not a good number. I started Lovenox anyway. Yesterday brown some red spotting and today I am bleeding. No clots, but a light red bleeding. I go back Monday to recheck the hcg. I know it won't be good. I haven't tested since Thursday. I will test again in the morning. I can't help but think had I started the Lovenox last weekend things might be different.

I am headed home to see Mom for a long weekend tomorrow. I think I am going to buy a new embroidery machine. I have to go back to Dr. I Monday morning for another beta.....

I am so tired. So tired of infertility. So tired of meds and shots and tempting and ultrasounds and triggers and IUIs.....tired. I am so tired of being strong..of feeling like I have to be strong.....

10 dpiui

2008-08-13T19:32:00.002-06:00

Hanging in there.....

Test was negative today. I know, still early. Cramping a little tonight and oh my goodness, my boobs have been KILLING me all day. I know it is from the Prometrium, but man did it hit it hard when they started hurting. It is all of a sudden and I have been on the Prometrium for a week now.

P4

2008-08-11T21:43:00.001-06:00

My progesterone level was >20 today. YEA!!!! I wish I knew exactly how high it was but the machine stops counting at 20 at my RE's office.

I got to spend several hours with my really great friend, Meg, and her daughter Katie Margaret today. I love you guys and miss you so much!!! Can't wait until our next visit!!

Happy Anniversary to Me!!!

2008-08-10T21:43:00.001-06:00

And Burt too I guess!! The scanner is down or I could scan a pic from our wedding to show you. Maybe tomorrow!!! Today marks 6 glorious years that Burt and I have been married!!! Everyday gets better and better!! I love you, Babe!!!

I am a HORRIBLE friend

2008-08-05T19:45:00.002-06:00

OK, Saturday we took the youth from the church canoeing on the Okatoma. I didn't get to canoe. I just rode the bus down and back and Mom met us and we went shopping. The kids had a GREAT time. I wish I could have gone but I didn't know how overstimulated I might be so I didn't want to push myself. There is a little white water on the Okatoma.

Sunday we drove to Laurel to a funeral. Burt's college roommate, Chip's, mother died. She had a massive heart attack on Thursday so we drove down after the IUI on Sunday.

The IUI went well. The count was 408 million - a new record for Burt!!! It was way cool - we got to see the washed sperm under a microscope. They were swimming everywhere!!! Now, let's just hope and pray they met an egg!!!

I have to start Prometrium (200mg 2 x day vaginally - progesterone support) tomorrow!! YUCK!! I remember these from my last pregnancy. I will go back to the doctor on Monday for a progesterone check and then the following Monday (18th) for a pregnancy test. They told me I could cheat beforehand so that I would be prepared for the phone call. I really don't want to drive down there if it is going to be negative.

Now for the post title. I feel horrible. Remember my friend Susan. I directed/decorated her wedding last August. She told me today that she is pregnant. I am super excited for her. I wish I could be more excited though. There is a part of me that is jealous, angry. This was the first month that they "tried". I feel horrible for having these feelings but I can't control them. She was super nice and sensitive when she told me - she was scared to tell me. I handled it well and didn't cry for several hours later - in my car on the way home from work. Why do I have to be jealous?? I hate that word - JEALOUS. It sounds horrible. I know I suffer from infertility for a reason. Maybe it is to get over being jealous of other people. Although I have never thought of myself as the jealous type. Maybe it is as simple as I am now scarred and infertility will always be a part of me.

Of please God let this be my month!!!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

IUI #5

2008-08-01T15:36:00.001-06:00

It has been scheduled for Sunday at 11:30. I will trigger tonight. I have 3 GREAT eggs in the 19-21 range and 6 more in the 13-16 range and several more that are below 10.

Keep us in your prayers while you are at church Sunday!!!

CD 9

2008-07-31T18:58:00.002-06:00

We had a wonderful time at the beach. I didn't want to come back!!! But I did.

I went to the doctor the day we left because my cycle had not started and I didn't want to have to drive 5 hours from the beach to Jackson if my cycle started and cd3 fell when we were gone. We did an ultrasound that day as well as checked my estrogen and FSH levels. Both levels came back fine and my ovaries are normal. So they gave me the go ahead and start the Repronex shots on cd 3. I started last Friday. I went to the doctor yesterday (cd8) and repeated the labwork and ultrasound. I had about 8 follicles between 13-16mm and my lining was at 10mm. I will go back tomorrow and have it all repeated again and then probably trigger tomorrow night or Saturday night!!!

Crazy Busy

2008-07-22T18:28:00.000-06:00

It has been crazy busy around here for the past month. And I don't have much time to post tonight. I have my ultrasound with Dr. Issacs tomorrow at 9:30. I am going to do it tomorrow instead of cd 3. I am spotting so they told me to just come home. They will check my ovaries and teach me how to give myself the injections. Then we are headed to the beach for some very much needed R&R!!! I can't wait. We will be in Orange Beach fromWednesday through Sunday!!!

Updates

2008-06-26T17:01:00.003-06:00

It has been a llllllllloooooooooonnnnnnnngggggggg week. I guess you have figured out by now that last cycle was a BFN. The new cycle started last Saturday. Burt came home last Saturday night and we had church activities all day Sunday (I think we got home around 9:30 pm). Then Monday I called Dr. Issacs office and told them I was on cd3. The nurse called me back and said that Dr. I wanted to change some things and that I needed to come in for an appointment. They had an opening Tuesday morning at 9:30. Burt couldn't go b/c he had just come home from his trip to Mobile. I called Mom and got her to go with me. SHe brought Nannie with her. We got there and Dr. I said that I needed to changle from Letrozole/IUI to Injectibles/IUI. My first response was that I didn't want a TV show names after me. He said that he would monitor me very closely to try to assure that wouldn't happen. He said that the drugs with insurance would cost about $1000/month in the US but I could order from a pharmacy in Europe for about $500/month. He said all of his patients order from this lab and that it is completely safe. I was just about to fax all of the paperwork off when my Mom had a wonderful idea. She called a pharmacist family friend to find out how much it would cost through a US retail pharmacy on my insurance. I am taking Repronex by the way. The pharmacist told us the same thing Dr. I had. So we called BCBS MS to find out if they would pay anything if I get the drugs from an European pharmacy. They said they wouldn't but to tal to my Mail Order Pharmacy Specialist who deal with Fertility drugs. So they transferred me to Veronica. She was super nice. Apparently, if I order these drugs through the mail order program they are covered. Guess how much????

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$35

Including Sharps containers, band-aids, alcohol swabs, needles, syringes, and FREE OVERNIGHT shipping. All of my drugs came in today. I had to verify everything yesterday!!! That is $35 for a 3 month supply by the way. God is so good!!!!!

I have taken a pic of all the meds but I can't download them yet. Maybe tomorrow!!!!

But there is one drawback. I have to sit out this cycle b/c I just got the meds today (cd 6) and I have to start on cd3. Pray for patience!!!

12dpiui

2008-06-18T19:32:00.002-06:00

Still negative. Although I got a really strange evaporation line on the test this morning. Trust me I know it is an evaporation line. I am NOT reading anything into this. I wish I could take a picture. It is just as dark as the control line but it is curved. It is really neat. Trust me....just evaporation. It was still negative when I left for work an hour after I took it.

I am much better today. I am coping and moving on. My devotion this moving was about being angry and that is is OK. That as Christians so many times we are told not to get angry. But the Bible says that when we get angry cry out to God and tell Him what angers us. I did that last night and I feel tons better today. Thank you all for your prayers.

Thank you also for the prayers for my friend Carrie. Her surgery went as well as could be expected. There was no cancer in her lymph nodes!!! Praise Be To God!!!! Hopefully, she will come home from the hospital tomorrow.

Pray for the teens from our church at M-Fuge with Burt. They are having an incredible time!!! BUT a stomach virus has broken out at the camp. Several people are sick. Luckily it seems to be a virus that comes quick and goes away fairly quick.

Today is my grandmother's 81st Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANNIE!!!!

11dpiui

2008-06-17T17:16:00.005-06:00

Please keep my friend Carrie in your prayers. She has stage 2 breast cancer. She had a double mystectomy today.

Negative again. I had a breakdown this morning. A complete breakdown. I think I needed it. I cried and prayed and cried some more. I am just tired. Tired of tests, Tired of procedures, Tired of month after month of negative tests. It has been almost 4 year. I am just 2 months shy of 4 years. I am better tonight. I am ok and resound to the fact that it is negative. I haven't given up all hope. I know I still have a few days for it to turn positive. Thanks Amberly for talking me through my craziness today. I have officially lost my mind by the way. Why does it have to be this hard????

One of the songs on the side of my blog says it best:

David Crowder Band - All I Can Say

Lord I'm tired

So tired from walking

And Lord I'm so alone

And Lord the dark

Is creeping in

Creeping up

To swallow me

I think I'll stop

Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?

And didn't You hear me call Your name?

Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?

I wish You'd remember

Where you sat it down

Chorus:

And this is all that I can say right now

And this is all that I can give

Bridge:

I didn't notice You were standing here

I didn't know that

That was You holding me

I didn't notice You were cry'n too

I didn't know that

That was You washing my feet

Happy Father's Day....

2008-06-15T12:33:00.001-06:00

....to all you Dads out there!!!

Today is 9dpiui and I broke down and took a test this morning. It was negative. I would expect it to be this early though. Maybe tomorrow.....

We are headed out to the lake with some friends right now. I'll check in on everyone later!!!

8dpiui

2008-06-14T18:31:00.002-06:00

The wait is getting harder!!! It is the worse now than I think it has ever been...in 4 years!!!! I did take a test today....an OPK. I just wanted to see what it would show. Has anyone else ever done this? The second line was pretty dark but not as dark as the control line.

I will test tomorrow. Burt is leaving at 6:00 am Monday to take the Youth to M-Fuge in Mobile and will not be home until next Saturday. So not only will I have to spend a week home alone (I was supposed to go) but I will either find out I'm pregnant or not by myself this week. Of course, I will let you know with each and every test I take.

6dpiui

2008-06-12T18:24:00.001-06:00

Hanging in there. Going nuts!!!! Will this 2ww ever be over. It seems to be crawling.......

From Proverbs 31 Ministries

2008-06-08T17:36:00.000-06:00

God, Could You Please Hurry?
Amy Carroll

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Ecclesiastes 3: 11 (NIV)

Devotion:
Those of us that have lived in rural areas know that tractors on the road are a fact of life. However, just because they are a fact of life doesn’t make them any less irritating if you’re in a hurry! I followed a tractor down one of our narrow two-lane roads recently. At one point I completely lost my patience for its pace and started yelling (unheard—thank goodness), “Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!” It didn’t speed up the tractor at all.

How many times have I approached God’s timing the same way? And it never hurries Him up either.

I admit God often does not operate at a pace that pleases me, and I want Him to hurry, hurry, hurry! I’m thinking Sarah, Abraham’s wife, felt the same way. After waiting 10 years for a baby that God had promised Abraham (read Genesis 12-21 for the complete story), Sarah decided to “help” God. Surely 10 years was too long for anybody to wait. So Sarah gave her maidservant Hagar to her husband, and the two of them had a child. Soon the two women were at odds. Talk about a soap-opera! Finally, fifteen years later, the child promised by God to Abraham and Sarah was born. God was not late. His timing was perfect. It was Sarah who was in a hurry and rushing things, but she found out that there was a price to pay for manipulating her circumstances.

I know Sarah and I are not alone in our desire for God to hurry up. I once heard it said that we are people with gods on our wrists.

In Isaiah 55:9, God says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (NIV) God’s timing is part of His ways. I may be tapping my watch, but He is never late. He may seem slow, but He is always right on time.

Has God made a promise to you that is slow in coming? Has He planted a dream in your heart that has yet to come to fruition? Don’t give up hope! God is faithful, and you can rely on His perfect timing. Fix your eyes on Him and enjoy the journey to your destination. There are things to be learned along the way that will enhance the joy of a promise fulfilled.

Dear Lord, sometimes I don’t understand your timing. It’s often very hard to wait, but I trust You. I want to rely on Your ways and Your timing. Help me to learn what I need to learn as I wait. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Psalm 115:1

2008-06-08T17:23:00.000-06:00

Not to us, O LORD, not to us, But to Your name give glory Because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth.

IUI #4

2008-06-07T09:32:00.003-06:00

I had IUI #4 yesterday. Everything went well. Burt's count was 318 million...which was GREAT!!! I had a new nurse (or at least new to me) doing my IUI yesterday. They were super busy. Apparently the other nurse nor Dr. Isaacs ever made a note in my chart that my cervix is tilted and the only way you can find it is if you stand up. She was really nice and even let me stop and take a break. She had to completely reinsert the speculum 4 times. That is counting all of the rearranging she did while she was in there. Unbelievably though, I haven't spotted any and I did with the last two IUIs. She said I had a lot of mucous in there. She even had to clean it out. But she said that was a good thing. One the 1st IUI they said the same thing. Maybe we are seeing some similarities....some good similarities. Burt and I spent the day in Jackson playing after the appointment. I had some shopping to do. I have to go to a wedding shower and a baby shower next Saturday. I will keep you posted on what happens this week. It will be a long 9 days until I start testing.

Good News

2008-06-05T20:40:00.002-06:00

Oh, it has been such a long week.....

Monday I worked 10 hours with Burt (he works 4 - 10 hr days). Well, I didn't actually work WITH him; we just rode together. Then after work we went to the DCDC farm and did some work. We do their computer work/web page. After that we went to Wal-Mart. We finally got home about 8:00, cooked supper, and did the normally nightly routine.

Tuesday I went to the dentist to get my permanent crown - OUCH!!! Glad that's done. I also had to have a filling done between two teeth and while he was in there he saw a tooth next to the filled one that had some holes in the enamel and so he fixed those for free.

Wednesday I was super busy at work. I went in at 7:00 am and left at 7:20 pm. I pulled in my driveway and saw Burt in the pasture and one of my horses was on the ground. I went running out there. My Beauty girl was colicing. We were up all night with her, but thankfully she is doing much better today.

Today I got to work at 6:45 this morning. I left at 4:30 to come home and take a nap. I was exhausted from yesterday and I had a meeting at 7:00 tonight. I just got home.

Also, today.......

I GOT A POSITIVE OPK!!!!!!!

I am so super excited. This has only happened one other time in the 4 years we have been trying and that was with IUI #1 which was also my last miscarriage. I think we were not getting the IUI timing right with the trigger shot. I noticed yesterday that I was starting to get some fertile cervical mucous, but just a little bit. My OPK was FAR from positive so I thought that I would probably need to have an ultrasound done on Friday before going into the weekend just to check on some things. This morning I decided that I needed to call and book the ultrasound for tomorrow. I took my OPK at 5:30 and it was negative (Clearblue Digital) but the second line was so pronounced. I knew I was getting close. Had it not been a digital test I MIGHT would have called it positive myself. So I held my tee tee until 10 am and took another one at work. And low and behold IT WAS POSITIVE!!!! Praise God!!! You just don't know how much of a relief it is!!!!! So IUI #4 is scheduled for 10:00 in the morning. Keep us in your prayers!!!

Nothing New

2008-06-01T18:46:00.002-06:00

Nothing new around here. It's hot...very hot!!!

I feel like all I ever have to post about is my infertility. I wish there was more. We were busy this weekend. We worked in the yard Friday night and went to my friend's daughter's graduation party on Saturday and then to a crawfish boil at the club. My friend's daughter just won the International Science Fair!!! Kudos to Natalie!!!

Today we went to church and then I came home and crashed. I have no idea why but I am exhausted. I should not be but I am. I slept for like 3 hours. I probably won't sleep tonight.

Well, since I have nothing else to write about - today is cd 11. Sometime this week I should have another IUI. Please pray specifically that I get a positive on my OPK. In my mind, I think the trigger shot has had something to do with the IUI not working the past two months. Only in my mind though...

Dentist

2008-05-28T19:39:00.002-06:00

I have never cared for the dentist. I used the same one growing up - all my life - until I got married. I have used the same dentist here in Greenville for the past 6 years. I love both dentists - as a person. I just hate someone working inside my mouth - I guess because it is such a sensitive area and I can't see what they are doing.

I had to get a crown today. Well, at least the temporary. I will have to go back next Tuesday to get the permanent. My mouth wouldn't numb so I had to have 6 shots. I still don't have all of the feeling back yet and I had the work done at 8:00 this morning.

I am tired tonight. I just feel drained. The heat is not helping. It is so incredibly hot here and it is only May. It is going to be a very long, hot summer. Church was GREAT tonight. My pastor's sister and her family were there. They are missionaries to India. It was neat to here their stories about how God is moving among the Hindu and Muslim people!!!!

We taped a video skit after church tonight with the youth. If it gets edited in time it will be played Sunday in church. It is to Casting Crown's "We Are the Body".

I need everyone to pray for me. I have been having the most powerful worship services with God on the way to work in the mornings - listening to The Message on XM Radio but I am having a hard time doing my personal Bible Study at home. It seems there is never any time and I am having trouble making time. I guess I'm just in a slump. I can't find any good material to study by. Nothing seems to "fit" my life right now. I finished "Moments for Couples Who Long for Children" several months ago and have been having trouble ever since. Any suggestions?

Today is cycle day 7. No side effects from the increased dosage of Letrozole yet.

Happy Memorial Day

2008-05-26T19:58:00.002-06:00

Well, I guess you have figured out by now that last month was a no-go. I called Dr. Isaacs office on Thursday and he decided to up my dosage of Letrozole to 5 mg on days 5-9? Has anyone out there taken 5mg? Why was your dosage increased? I didn't get to talk to my regular nurse. I may try to call back and see what the logic behind the increase is since I had such good follicles.

I had a crazy busy week last week. We opened the pool at the tennis club on Saturday and I spent all week getting ready for it - including cleaning the pool. The club manager left the country for 4 weeks and failed to let the pool guy know when the pool would be opened. He also asked her a question about his pay before she left and she said she would get back to him and never did so he thought we let him go and so he didn't take care of the pool for a week and it turned black. But all went well on Saturday!!!!

Mom came and brought Noah on Saturday and KK came on Sunday. We had a GREAT time with them. Noah went swimming a lot. We bought him a kiddie pool for our house. He calls it "The Pond". We cooked out today. Well, let me rephrase that. I cooked out today. Mom cleaned my house and KK and Burt sat on the back porch. Burt was up all night Friday and Saturday grilling Boston Butts for a fundraiser.

Oh and today is cd 5 by the way!!!

12dpiui

2008-05-18T20:20:00.001-06:00

Negative

It was faintly positive until Saturday. I guess it just took a while this month to get the trigger out. I guess it could still turn positive, but I'm not feeling very optimistic.

Updates

2008-05-15T16:53:00.002-06:00

Not much is happening in my world. Just waiting....waiting....waiting.....The story of my life.

Let me get you caught up. Let's see what has happened in my world.

Last Friday I woke up queasy. I know what you're thinking - but remember that it was only 3dpiui. I was sick on my stomach until about 7 pm. I threw up several times and couldn't stay out of the potty. We drove home to see Mom (3.5 hours) in all of this. We got to Meridian around 6:00 and went to Eli's baseball game. Luckily, I only threw up once at the game. Saturday we took it easy and played with Eli and Noah and went shopping with Mom, Amy, and Todd. Sunday was, of course, Mother's Day. It was nice. I only cried once and it was in the shower. I teared up a few times but I only lost it once. I even made it through Mother Recognition and Baby Dedication at church. They recognized the graduates at church too. Anna Kate was recognized. She is graduating from 3 year old kindergarden tonight. Aunt Bet had to take her all the way down ion front of the church. After church we cooked out with the family and then played with Eli, Noah, Anna Kate, and Essi at Nannie and Papaw's until 7:00. I didn't want to leave. We were having such a good time.

Monday after work I had a board meeting at the tennis club.

Tuesday I had a pool committee meeting at the tennis club.

Last night I gave a final and tonight I am giving a final. This semester is OVER TONIGHT!!!! :)

I have been cheating and taking tests. I took one Tuesday and it had a very faint second line. I know it is the trigger shot still getting out of my system. I took another yesterday and the second line was even fainter. I took another one today and it is barely even there. I figured it would be completely gone by now. Today is 9 dpiui. I will take another one in the morning. Last time an IUI worked I got a very faint positive on 10 dpiui and BFP on 11 dpiui. I didn't trigger that time though.

Quick Update

2008-05-07T06:32:00.001-06:00

Just a quick update before I run off to work.

I went Monday at 2:30 and had another ultrasound and then a trigger shot. I had no follicles on the left side but the right look great. I had 2 on the left side - a 23 mm and a 16 mm. The 16 mm is INSIDE the 23 mm. Has anyone ever heard of this or know anything about it?? Any information would be greatly appreciated. My lining was at 8. I went in yesterday morning at 7:00 and had the IUI so now I guess we are in the 2ww!!!

If I don't get to blog again before I head out of town on Friday
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!
Have a wonderful day!!

Ultrasound Results

2008-05-03T12:06:00.002-06:00

I have been in limbo with the ultrasound results. Dr. Isaacs was not there so one of the nurses did the ultrasound for me. She was really through. But they were going to have to send the results to Dr. I and see what he says. They told me if I don't hear from them over the weekend to come back Monday at 2:30 for the IUI. Here are the results:

Lining - 7mm

Right Ovary
1 egg at 11 mm
1 egg at 8 mm
6 more under 10

Left Ovary
1 egg at 14 mm
1 egg at 10 mm
7 more under 10

I really, really, really hope I ovulate from both ovaries. My left tube was once blocked so I am always afraid it is blocked again. After last month when everything was perfect and I didn't get pregnant and I knew that I only ovulated from the left side - I am really afraid it may be blocked again.

Please keep us in your prayers this weekend. I will let you know what happens Monday. I really hope I get another ultrasound before the IUI.

Burt went to Deer Camp for a meeting today. I am going to work for a bit and then to a crawfish boil at a co-workers house. I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL weekend and it is not stormy wherever you are. We had 3 tornadoes touch down very close to Greenville last night. 1 was 30 minutes west of here and then came through G'town and then 1 came through here and touched down about 30 minutes North of here and then another one touched down about 30 minutes east of here.

cd 12

2008-04-30T18:19:00.002-06:00

Negative OPK. Ultrasound scheduled for Friday at 10:30 to check on ovulation!!!!

Lazy Saturday

2008-04-26T19:06:00.006-06:00

Well at least it was supposed to be. We worked in the yard last night when we got home. I went to bed about 11:00. It had started thundering at 9:00 and nothing had happened so I went on to bed. At 2:15 this morning a huge storm hit. We didn't have any damage but we didn't get much sleep. I was awake from 2:15 until about 4ish with the storm and then I couldn't go back to sleep. It was still raining at 10:00 this morning. We went and helped a friend of ours plant an orchard about 10:30. Yes, an orchard. She is French and has always dreamed of living on an orchard. She is divorced and has just bought 3.5 acres of land. What originally started out an 10 trees turned into 27 trees, 5 blackberries, 6 blueberry plants, 8 muscadines and a few other things. We were happy to help but we exhausted when we were done. After that we went to Lowe's to pick up a few things for our house and then came home and took a nap. Whew!!! What a day.

On the TTC front, today is cd8. I cheated a little this month. I took my Letrozole on cd 3-7 instead of 5-9. I have done this before in the past and I ovulated a little earlier that cd 17. I hope so this month. We'll see. Keep us in your prayers. This will be a long week for us. I will start the OPK on Monday and hopefully will have another IUI sometime next week!!!

Here's some pics of Noah I took 2 weeks ago when they were here visiting.

Notice the Mr. Potato Head Sunglasses!!!

Gotta go for now!! Burt is grilling steaks and corn on the cob for dinner and it smells YUMMY!!!

13dpiui

2008-04-17T16:37:00.001-06:00

Same song, second verse.

Still negative. Started spotting.

12dpIUI

2008-04-16T17:10:00.002-06:00

Yep, still negative.

Thanks so much for all your prayers. Keep them coming!!!!

I want to kinda share in a little more detail the feelings and emotions that I have been feeling. Thanks so much Amberly and Celeste for all of your encouraging words.

I feel selfish. I have been so blessed. I wonder sometimes if I haven't thanked God enough for all of the many blessings in my life - for all of the gifts He has given me. I feel selfish for asking for yet something else.

I fell guilt. Guilt for the faithlessness that I have sometime have with God that this is never going to happen for me. I feel guilt for not being able to give my husband the 5 children he wants.

So many things are going through my mind. It seems like God only works on one thing at a time. we finally found out why I am not ovulating...then I miscarried...He pulled me through...found the first blood disorder....couldn't get pregnant...changed medications...fixed the mucous problem...still no pregnancy.....added IUI...finally pregnant...miscarried....for additional blood disorder....can't get pregnant.

I still have a glimmer of hope. I sill have a few days before this cycle is over. I am emotionally better today than I was yesterday. we'll see what tomorrow brings.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” - Mary Anne Radmacher

11dpiui

2008-04-15T16:14:00.002-06:00

Well, BFN....again.

I come to you with a broken heart tonight. At 11dpiui with my last IUI, I had my BFP. Today - nothing. Not even an evaporation line. One side of me says "Shut up crazy girl - it's still early" and the other side says "Face It. It's Over". I am crying as I type. I know it may still be early. I have a friend who didn't get her BFP until 13dpiui. I am crampy and weepy though - so I know AF is on the way. I am so depressed. I came home an hour ago and have been in bed ever since. I just want to go back to bed and sleep for a long, long time. Please God, Please!!!

Why can't I have the one thing I want more than anything in this world. How can women, teenagers, get pregnant "accidentally" and even better "while on the pill" and I can time everything perfectly under the best conditions and I still can't seem to get pregnant.

Please pray for me tonight and tomorrow. Please pray hard for a BFP!!!!

Oh and I've Been Tagged
And it's a first for me too!!! I was tagged by Celeste to play a "who are you?" game. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people, posts their names, and then leaves a comment on their blogs, letting them know they've been tagged!

What Was I Doing Five Years Ago?
I was in graduate school at Delta State University pursuing a Master’s of Business Administration with a CIS emphasis.

Five things on my to do list today (or things I did today):
1) Go to CVS and buy more HPT.
2) Take more HPT
3) Stop stressing about HPT
4) Make out my test for class tomorrow night
5) Watch “Dancing with the Stars”

Five snacks that I love
1) Oreo Cream Pie
2) Cinnamon Toast
3) Chips and Kroger Brand French Onion Dip
4) Now & Laters
5) Triscuits & Ranch Dressing

Five Things I would do If I were a Billionaire
1) Tithe and Give
2) Buy Burt his own hunting club
3)Pay off all the debt me, my sister and Mom “might” owe (I don’t know if they do or not)
4) Invest
5) Save

5 bad habits I have:
1) Calling Burt names (just joking around - but sometimes it does hurt his feelings even though he knows I am only kidding around)
2) Taking HPTs
3) Reading Dr. Google
4) Doing my prayer time and Bible Study at night when I am super tired
5) Retail Therapy

Five places I've lived:
1) Greenville, MS (For the past 6 years)
2) Mississippi College, Clinton, MS (College Years)
3) Enterprise, MS (born and raised)
4) Salzburg, Austria (Spring semester 2001)
5) Cloud 9 (The last time I got a +HPT)

Five Jobs I've Had
1) Part-time Programmer/Analyst (WorldCom)
2) Bioinformaticist/IT Specialist (USDA)
3) Adjunct Professor (Mississippi Delta Community College)
4) Resident Assistant (MC)
5) Receptionist (Baptist Healthplex – Mississippi College)

Five people I want to know more about (a nice way of saying TAG):
1) Amberly Collins
2) Stephanie
3) Debbie
4) Maggie
5) Meg

10 dpIUI

2008-04-14T15:41:00.000-06:00

BFN

Great Weekend

2008-04-13T19:14:00.002-06:00

I have had a WONDERFUL weekend. Friday morning I went to Jackson to get my progesterone checked. It was greater than 20 which is what Dr. Isaacs office likes to see one week post-IUI!!! I had to drive 4 hours round-trip for a two second blood draw!!! Oh well, whatever it takes.

Mom came on Friday night and brought Eli and Noah. We had a GREAT time. We played outside all day yesterday. I miss those boys so much!!!

I'm hanging in there and waiting. I took a pregnancy test Friday, yesterday and today. The trigger shot is officially out of my system. It was really faint on Friday, much fainter yesterday, and only one line on the stick today. That is GREAT news. Now, if, I get a positive test I can be sure I am pregnant and that it is not the lingering effects of the trigger shot. I am so nervous about this week. I so hope I am pregnant. Last time I got a positive it was "really" faint, almost non-existent, on 10dpIUI and then very positive on 11dpIUI. Today is 9dpIUI!!!