Didn't Go Well Today

When your Doctor looks at you and says, "I'm Worried" you know things aren't good. We saw the sac and the yolk sac inside (which is GREAT considering with my last two miscarriages we never saw the yolk sac). I was so excited b/c even I saw it IMMEDIATELY!!! But there was no heartbeat and we couldn't find the fetal pole. Doc said he's not ready to give up on this pregnancy but he doesn't think it will progress any further. He thinks it has already stopped growing. So, I now have to wait until Feb. 11th to have another ultrasound. At that point it just be completely readable one way or another. If it has not grown anymore then we will do a d&c and then he has some tests he wants to run to see why I can't make it past 6 weeks. He didn't elaborate on this. I guess we'll wait and see. We are really down tonight. Please keep us in your prayers. We really thought the third time was going to be the charm.

Stuff

I know I know. I have been gone for a while. School has started back and life is crazy. 3rd beta last Wednesday was 2163. Not quite as high as I would have wanted but the nurse said it is still good? Any advice/comments/suggestions/ideas would be most appreciated.

Ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday at 9:30. I am so scared. The last time we didn't see a sac and then 2 days later we did but it was empty and then 2 days later it had collapsed. And then of course there is always the scary ectopic scenario. I am so scared. I am feeling good. Not sick yet. Waves of queasiness every now and then, but haven't thrown up at all. Boobies are full and tender and sore. Tummy is bloated at night but then flat in the morning.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you." Psalms 56:3

Also, I am not sure how they are calculating how far along I am. According to LMP, I am 6 wks 2 days today. But they are calling Wednesday 6 weeks.

5 wk 2 days

Today is 5 weeks 2 days. Nothing really seems different except I am bloated at night. Sorry I haven't updated since Monday. I have been really tired this week and going to bed around 7 pm. I think most of it is the 3 trips to Jackson and teaching 2 night classes this week. I went back to Jackson for 2nd HCG on Wednesday. It was 395 !!!!! A little more than doubled!! Praise God!!!! Then Thursday I went to see my thyroid doctor. My levels are fine right now. I will go back and see him on Feb. 7. I will go back the Wednesday for another HCG level. Please pray that the HCG levels continue to rise normally!!!! My ultrasound is scheduled for Jan. 30. I am curious to know from those of you who are pregnant. I know it is different for every woman, but when did your morning sickness start or did you even have it.

14 dpiui

Beta - 171
P4 - >20

I will go back for 2nd Beta on Wednesday and see my thyroid doctor on Thursday!!!

God is so Good!!! Please continue to pray that this pregnancy continues successfully.

UPDATES - FINALLY!!!!

I know some of you were really wanting me to update yesterday. I couldn't. I can't log into blogger at work - I can only read!!! Then I was going to take off early, but that didn't happen and I ended up working late. I went to CVS to get a prescription that my RE called in at noon (it was now 4:00) and they hasn't even entered into the computer. I went to the grocery store to get a few things and then I went back to CVS to get the prescription (which they only had 6 pills of so I have to go back Monday). We then ran home and changed clothes and went to pick up a couple of the youth from the church and went to the church for a lock-in. I am exhausted today. Burt did stay up all night. I went to sleep about 1:30 and was in and out until 5:30 this morning. We came home about 8:00 and got in the bed. I got up at noon but went back to bed.

So here is what I needed prayer for:

11dpiui (Friday)

12 dpiui (Saturday)

I took one on Thursday and it was VERY, VERY FAINTLY positive and it was an Internet cheapie. The ones I bought were from babyhopes.com - I don't recommend them. I took another one Friday morning along with a CVS brand and both were faint again. So about 9 am Friday, I went to CVS and bought some first response and a clearblue digital (which I don't have a picture of).

I will go to the doctor on Monday for a beta and progesterone check. I have started progesterone suppositories two times a day. Please pray this pregnancy sticks. I wasn't even supposed to test until Monday!!!!

Praide God!! Praise God!!!! 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

PRAY FOR ME

PRAY FOR ME TODAY, TONIGHT, and TOMORROW - More info tomorrow

Also, in other news. My nurse faxed the wrong progesterone result to my RE. It was 20.5 - IN SEPTEMBER. Monday's number was 33!!! YEA!! That does make me feel so much better. It is no indicator of pregnancy, but the higher the number means the more number of eggs released and/or the greater maturity of the egg/s.

On a funny note - our neighbor's son almost got arrested at our house Tuesday night. We had a horrible storm and I was not a home (Burt was still in Tallahassee - althought he is home now - YEA!!). The alarm company called my cell and said the alarm was going off and they had dispatched the police. I called Chaz's (the neighbor's son) house and told his little sister (6th grade) what was happening and asked that she send him over. She sent him but didn't tell him what was happening. He assumed I needed him to feed the horses - which I did anyway. He said the alarm was going off when he got there so he let himself in and entered the code to turn it off. He said about the time he came out of the house - the cops pull up. They ended up calling me on my cell phone to confirm what Chaz was saying. But I felt so bad!!!! Everything is fine now and the alarm was a false alarm.

7 dpiui

Well, I've made it a week. Honestly, waiting thus far hasn't been so bad, but NOW IT'S BAD!!! It's killing me. I am in such a bad mood - maybe it's PMS and AF is on her way, but a little early for PMS. I just feel so out of control. I end up giving my husband a hard time. He is AWESOME. He helps around the house. Does most of the laundry and all of the dishes, but when I feel out of control I go off on him. I just did. He is in Tallahassee on business and will be back home Wednesday. I called and gave him his "list" for when he returns. I just need to feel in control of something - even if it is just if my floors are clean. Does anyone understand?

And this is why I feel out of control - progesterone today - 20.5

I know that is a good number but I was so hoping for a REALLY high number. Just a little bumbed. I even took a hpt today - I know stupid - but I read a post online about someone getting a BFP on 7 dpiui so I thought, what the heck. I know, I know. That person was like a 1 in 1 million. Of course, you know what mine was....

Prayer Service

Tonight at church we started a 7 week session on prayer. On Sunday nights we, as a church, are going to meet and have a time of prayer for specific things. Tonight we prayed about the things that get all of our focus and attention. We all know what mine was. We prayed for God's will and accepting it even if it is not our own. This was a really good service for me. I cried out loud to the Lord many, many times. It really helped me deal with some issues i have been having. I guess it was the Lord all along because I have been really convicted lately about that I do is focus on my infertility. Tonight, I gave it all to the Lord.

5 dpiui

Waiting. Waiting. Doesn't everyone just love WAITING!!!! I could scream!!! I am trying to keep myself busy, but I can't seem to. I can't get this IUI off the brain. I will go Monday for my progesterone check and then the doctor said I could start testing the following Monday, but as usual, I will probably start over the weekend. I'm having phantom symptoms that come and go. I have been sick this week so maybe they are not phantom, nut just related to the ACTUAL illness I have. Thank you to everyone for you encouraging comments, thoughts, and prayers. Keep them coming. It will be another LONG week!!

IUI

Well, yesterday I had my first, and hopefully only, IUI. It hurt like heck. I had way too much mucous. They believe it was the good kind, but had copious amounts. They said it is a positive thing. They had to clean it out to find my cervix though. And then they couldn't figure out which way my cervix tilted. And then my cervix was low and tilted. But finally they found it. Laid there for 15 minutes and then went home. Head cold was still horrible so I didn't feel like doing anything and I was cramping really bad so we went to lunch and then came on home. I got in the bed at 2 and got out of bed at 5 and went to a New Year's Eve Party. I just sat in their recliner all night. So, pray, pray, pray. We are praying that his "boys" as Burt and the nurse referred to them will find an egg and hold on and then that they will find a nice spot in my uterus to call home for the next 9 months. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming!!!

Oh BTW - Normal sperm count is supposed to be 20 million. Burt had 245 million. Everything was PERFECT!!!!!