Thursday, June 26, 2008


It has been a llllllllloooooooooonnnnnnnngggggggg week. I guess you have figured out by now that last cycle was a BFN. The new cycle started last Saturday. Burt came home last Saturday night and we had church activities all day Sunday (I think we got home around 9:30 pm). Then Monday I called Dr. Issacs office and told them I was on cd3. The nurse called me back and said that Dr. I wanted to change some things and that I needed to come in for an appointment. They had an opening Tuesday morning at 9:30. Burt couldn't go b/c he had just come home from his trip to Mobile. I called Mom and got her to go with me. SHe brought Nannie with her. We got there and Dr. I said that I needed to changle from Letrozole/IUI to Injectibles/IUI. My first response was that I didn't want a TV show names after me. He said that he would monitor me very closely to try to assure that wouldn't happen. He said that the drugs with insurance would cost about $1000/month in the US but I could order from a pharmacy in Europe for about $500/month. He said all of his patients order from this lab and that it is completely safe. I was just about to fax all of the paperwork off when my Mom had a wonderful idea. She called a pharmacist family friend to find out how much it would cost through a US retail pharmacy on my insurance. I am taking Repronex by the way. The pharmacist told us the same thing Dr. I had. So we called BCBS MS to find out if they would pay anything if I get the drugs from an European pharmacy. They said they wouldn't but to tal to my Mail Order Pharmacy Specialist who deal with Fertility drugs. So they transferred me to Veronica. She was super nice. Apparently, if I order these drugs through the mail order program they are covered. Guess how much????

Wait for it.......
Wait for it.......
Wait for it.......

Including Sharps containers, band-aids, alcohol swabs, needles, syringes, and FREE OVERNIGHT shipping. All of my drugs came in today. I had to verify everything yesterday!!! That is $35 for a 3 month supply by the way. God is so good!!!!!

I have taken a pic of all the meds but I can't download them yet. Maybe tomorrow!!!!

But there is one drawback. I have to sit out this cycle b/c I just got the meds today (cd 6) and I have to start on cd3. Pray for patience!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Still negative. Although I got a really strange evaporation line on the test this morning. Trust me I know it is an evaporation line. I am NOT reading anything into this. I wish I could take a picture. It is just as dark as the control line but it is curved. It is really neat. Trust me....just evaporation. It was still negative when I left for work an hour after I took it.

I am much better today. I am coping and moving on. My devotion this moving was about being angry and that is is OK. That as Christians so many times we are told not to get angry. But the Bible says that when we get angry cry out to God and tell Him what angers us. I did that last night and I feel tons better today. Thank you all for your prayers.

Thank you also for the prayers for my friend Carrie. Her surgery went as well as could be expected. There was no cancer in her lymph nodes!!! Praise Be To God!!!! Hopefully, she will come home from the hospital tomorrow.

Pray for the teens from our church at M-Fuge with Burt. They are having an incredible time!!! BUT a stomach virus has broken out at the camp. Several people are sick. Luckily it seems to be a virus that comes quick and goes away fairly quick.

Today is my grandmother's 81st Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANNIE!!!!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Please keep my friend Carrie in your prayers. She has stage 2 breast cancer. She had a double mystectomy today.

Negative again. I had a breakdown this morning. A complete breakdown. I think I needed it. I cried and prayed and cried some more. I am just tired. Tired of tests, Tired of procedures, Tired of month after month of negative tests. It has been almost 4 year. I am just 2 months shy of 4 years. I am better tonight. I am ok and resound to the fact that it is negative. I haven't given up all hope. I know I still have a few days for it to turn positive. Thanks Amberly for talking me through my craziness today. I have officially lost my mind by the way. Why does it have to be this hard????

One of the songs on the side of my blog says it best:

David Crowder Band - All I Can Say
Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while
And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day.... all you Dads out there!!!

Today is 9dpiui and I broke down and took a test this morning. It was negative. I would expect it to be this early though. Maybe tomorrow.....

We are headed out to the lake with some friends right now. I'll check in on everyone later!!!

Saturday, June 14, 2008


The wait is getting harder!!! It is the worse now than I think it has ever 4 years!!!! I did take a test OPK. I just wanted to see what it would show. Has anyone else ever done this? The second line was pretty dark but not as dark as the control line.

I will test tomorrow. Burt is leaving at 6:00 am Monday to take the Youth to M-Fuge in Mobile and will not be home until next Saturday. So not only will I have to spend a week home alone (I was supposed to go) but I will either find out I'm pregnant or not by myself this week. Of course, I will let you know with each and every test I take.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Hanging in there. Going nuts!!!! Will this 2ww ever be over. It seems to be crawling.......

Sunday, June 8, 2008

From Proverbs 31 Ministries

God, Could You Please Hurry?
Amy Carroll

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
Ecclesiastes 3: 11 (NIV)

Those of us that have lived in rural areas know that tractors on the road are a fact of life. However, just because they are a fact of life doesn’t make them any less irritating if you’re in a hurry! I followed a tractor down one of our narrow two-lane roads recently. At one point I completely lost my patience for its pace and started yelling (unheard—thank goodness), “Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!” It didn’t speed up the tractor at all.

How many times have I approached God’s timing the same way? And it never hurries Him up either.

I admit God often does not operate at a pace that pleases me, and I want Him to hurry, hurry, hurry! I’m thinking Sarah, Abraham’s wife, felt the same way. After waiting 10 years for a baby that God had promised Abraham (read Genesis 12-21 for the complete story), Sarah decided to “help” God. Surely 10 years was too long for anybody to wait. So Sarah gave her maidservant Hagar to her husband, and the two of them had a child. Soon the two women were at odds. Talk about a soap-opera! Finally, fifteen years later, the child promised by God to Abraham and Sarah was born. God was not late. His timing was perfect. It was Sarah who was in a hurry and rushing things, but she found out that there was a price to pay for manipulating her circumstances.

I know Sarah and I are not alone in our desire for God to hurry up. I once heard it said that we are people with gods on our wrists.

In Isaiah 55:9, God says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (NIV) God’s timing is part of His ways. I may be tapping my watch, but He is never late. He may seem slow, but He is always right on time.

Has God made a promise to you that is slow in coming? Has He planted a dream in your heart that has yet to come to fruition? Don’t give up hope! God is faithful, and you can rely on His perfect timing. Fix your eyes on Him and enjoy the journey to your destination. There are things to be learned along the way that will enhance the joy of a promise fulfilled.

Dear Lord, sometimes I don’t understand your timing. It’s often very hard to wait, but I trust You. I want to rely on Your ways and Your timing. Help me to learn what I need to learn as I wait. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Psalm 115:1

Not to us, O LORD, not to us, But to Your name give glory Because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

IUI #4

I had IUI #4 yesterday. Everything went well. Burt's count was 318 million...which was GREAT!!! I had a new nurse (or at least new to me) doing my IUI yesterday. They were super busy. Apparently the other nurse nor Dr. Isaacs ever made a note in my chart that my cervix is tilted and the only way you can find it is if you stand up. She was really nice and even let me stop and take a break. She had to completely reinsert the speculum 4 times. That is counting all of the rearranging she did while she was in there. Unbelievably though, I haven't spotted any and I did with the last two IUIs. She said I had a lot of mucous in there. She even had to clean it out. But she said that was a good thing. One the 1st IUI they said the same thing. Maybe we are seeing some similarities....some good similarities. Burt and I spent the day in Jackson playing after the appointment. I had some shopping to do. I have to go to a wedding shower and a baby shower next Saturday. I will keep you posted on what happens this week. It will be a long 9 days until I start testing.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Good News

Oh, it has been such a long week.....

Monday I worked 10 hours with Burt (he works 4 - 10 hr days). Well, I didn't actually work WITH him; we just rode together. Then after work we went to the DCDC farm and did some work. We do their computer work/web page. After that we went to Wal-Mart. We finally got home about 8:00, cooked supper, and did the normally nightly routine.

Tuesday I went to the dentist to get my permanent crown - OUCH!!! Glad that's done. I also had to have a filling done between two teeth and while he was in there he saw a tooth next to the filled one that had some holes in the enamel and so he fixed those for free.

Wednesday I was super busy at work. I went in at 7:00 am and left at 7:20 pm. I pulled in my driveway and saw Burt in the pasture and one of my horses was on the ground. I went running out there. My Beauty girl was colicing. We were up all night with her, but thankfully she is doing much better today.

Today I got to work at 6:45 this morning. I left at 4:30 to come home and take a nap. I was exhausted from yesterday and I had a meeting at 7:00 tonight. I just got home.

Also, today.......


I am so super excited. This has only happened one other time in the 4 years we have been trying and that was with IUI #1 which was also my last miscarriage. I think we were not getting the IUI timing right with the trigger shot. I noticed yesterday that I was starting to get some fertile cervical mucous, but just a little bit. My OPK was FAR from positive so I thought that I would probably need to have an ultrasound done on Friday before going into the weekend just to check on some things. This morning I decided that I needed to call and book the ultrasound for tomorrow. I took my OPK at 5:30 and it was negative (Clearblue Digital) but the second line was so pronounced. I knew I was getting close. Had it not been a digital test I MIGHT would have called it positive myself. So I held my tee tee until 10 am and took another one at work. And low and behold IT WAS POSITIVE!!!! Praise God!!! You just don't know how much of a relief it is!!!!! So IUI #4 is scheduled for 10:00 in the morning. Keep us in your prayers!!!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Nothing New

Nothing new around here. It's hot...very hot!!!

I feel like all I ever have to post about is my infertility. I wish there was more. We were busy this weekend. We worked in the yard Friday night and went to my friend's daughter's graduation party on Saturday and then to a crawfish boil at the club. My friend's daughter just won the International Science Fair!!! Kudos to Natalie!!!

Today we went to church and then I came home and crashed. I have no idea why but I am exhausted. I should not be but I am. I slept for like 3 hours. I probably won't sleep tonight.

Well, since I have nothing else to write about - today is cd 11. Sometime this week I should have another IUI. Please pray specifically that I get a positive on my OPK. In my mind, I think the trigger shot has had something to do with the IUI not working the past two months. Only in my mind though...