Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It's Over

The sac at Monday's ultrasound looked GREAT. It had caught up to size. The baby had grown as expected, but there was no heartbeat. I had a D&C yesterday at 9w1d. They are running a whole bunch of chromosomal tests and we are going to run every test possible before I try again. But we are hopeful (even bothe Drs) and we will try again....soon. Most of the tests should be back in 2 weeks.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Response to Comments

Several people have asked if I can find another doctor who is more encouraging and supportive. I will tell you Monday when I walked out of the office I was ready to ask for my Medical Records. There is one other fertility specialist in Jackson. The next closest place would be Memphis which is 2 hours away (about the same distance). As soon as I walked out of the clinic Monday, before I even hit the button for the elevator, I called by OB/GYN. He is the most wonderful man/doctor in the whole world. The last time I miscarried he delayed his family vacation to sit in the lab with me for an hour while we waited for results to come back. He was supposed to call me from home Monday night, but he was on call and had a long night. He did call me back yesterday. I told him that I knew he probably couldn't talk to me since I was under the care of another physician, but he said that he is my doctor and to call him anytime. WE had a long talk. I got some questions answered. I told him that I really didn't like the RE but he did get me pregnant. He said he understood. I explained to him that the only answers I get to my questions from the RE are "Because I'm the Expert, That's Why" or "We'll talk about that next week". He said he understood and that was what he expected from the RE> He explained that I am just a number, only a statistic to the RE. That his whole livelihood depends on the stats coming out of his office. He also explained that RE's work "In the Ivory Tower" meaning they think they are better than everyone else and know everything. He also went on to explain to me that RE's are very scientific and because of that they are very "textbook". Meaning if the textbook says the heartbeat should be visible by 6 weeks and it's not there then the pregnancy is doomed.

So, then I asked about my specific situation. And before I could even start, my doctor said, Beth, you are not a typical case and you have probably freaked him out a bit. Most fertility patients have one maybe two things wrong with them. I am hit from all angles.
So we talked about the heartbeat at 6 weeks and how we didn’t see it and how the RE is “textbook”. Then we discussed the small sac this week. My Ob said that although there could be a problem. Not to dwell on it. Keep it in the back of my head but to hold on to the fact that we saw a heartbeat. There could be multiple reasons why the sac was small and none of them may be important. He said all I could do now is pray and that he and his staff would be praying as well.

So then I asked about the heparin. He said doctors start using it at different times. He likes to see a heartbeat first, but that he didn’t see a problem waiting until 10 or 12 weeks. He said that it is fine for the RE to be rerunning the tests and since the whole disorder is controversial anyway (which I knew) there may not be anything wrong with me. This gene mutation can show up and never affect anything or it can cause BIG problems. So as we were hanging up I asked if I had done everything I could medically. He said yes; all we can do now is pray. So that is what we are doing. Praying for this baby to be healthy and continue to grow and thanking God for everyday we have with him/her.
I thank you all for your support and prayers. Keep lifting them up. WE still have a long way to go!!!!

“Our God is in Heaven; He does what pleases Him.” Psalms 115:3


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

8 Weeks with a Heartbeat

We have a heartbeat!!!! I don't know what it measured because my RE doesn't take measurements. He does all of the ultrasounds himself and he said the heartbeat looked good. Unfortunately, he couldn't let me enjoy my moment. The sac is measuring small. I don't know how small b/c once again - no measurements. The baby almost encompasses the entire sac. He is again worried and shocked that the baby grew as much as it did and that we saw a heartbeat. He said that there shouldn't have been a heartbeat. Now he fully expects the heartbeat to disappear in the next few weeks. I have another ultrasound scheduled for Monday at 8:45. Thank you so much for your prayers. Please!! Please!! Keep lifting them up. Now we are praying that the heartbeat continues and that the sac catches up to the baby and that the baby continues growing healthy.

If anyone knows anything or has had any experience with small sac sizes around 8 weeks with a heartbeat, please let me know. I would love any suggestions/commetns that you have.

MY GOD IS THE GOD OF MIRACLES!!!! And I truly believe this sac is going to catch up.

My RE doesn't want to start heparin injections because he doesn't see any reason too. I think he waited too late and now he sees that. He is rerunning all of the tests that I had run after my last miscarriage to see what the results show now. God, please don't take my baby because of the RE's arrogance!!!!!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

100th Post - Quick Update

Today is my 100th post. WOW!!!!

I just have a quick update for you today. Tahnk you so much to everyone for you comments/emails/calls and especially your prayers. You all mean so very much to me. I oculd never let you know how much. We still don't know anything. I feel GREAT. Still feel pregnant. Bloated at night. Boobs still hurt during the night and first thing in the mornings. I haven't been updating because I am trying not to dwell on this. I am trying to be positive. I go see the thyroid doctor tomorrow just for a check on my levels. Then Monday is THE DAY!!!! Pray, Pray, Pray!!! That is all I can say or ask of you right now. Pray for my little one. Pray that he/she is healthy and has a beating heart and that we can see it!! Pray for peace for Burt and I as we wait. Some days we can't wait for Monday and on other days we are dreading Monday!!!!