Monday, August 27th, 1:30 p.m.

That is my appointment with Dr. Issacs. I am stoked. I can't believe I got in that quick. Hopefully, we will go ahead with the IUI this month. Monday will be cd 12 and I usually ovulate on cd 18. Cross your fingers and keep me in your prayers.

My friend Julie is still in the hospital, but has not had the baby yet. She has been having some really strong contractions but they have managed to stop them. They have given her 2 shots to help Maggie's lungs. They hope she can hold off until tomorrow after 5:30 pm. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She is going to have a tiny baby and the closest NICU is 2 hours away.

Canoeing and Babies

We took the youth from the church canoeing yesterday. It was alot of fun. I am so tired today though and my legs are all bruised up. I haven't had that much fun in a while. KK brought Eli and they canoed with us.

At our church our young married adult Sunday School class takes turns feeding the other coupldes dinner when someone has surgery or a baby. Tonight Burt and I had to feed Andy and Jennifer. They had their baby on the 9th. They are my friends that got pregnant their first month on clomid. They baby is prescious but they said they are worn out and don't have a clue what they are doing.

My other friends, Shannon and Julie, who are due in October went the the hospital after church was over this morning because she thought her water was leaking. Well, it was, it broke. The is 33 weeks. They have her in the hospital and are trying to make her wait 48 hours. I wish her the best. They are my friends who accidentally got pregnant on birth control.

I was doing ok with my infertility so far and then all of this this weekend. I started crying during church tonight. It is just so not fair. I don't know why God is putting my through all of this. I know it is all part of his big plan for my life and that He is using this for his glory but I just don't see it. I am so frustrated right now. The doctor didn't call me back with my appointment with Dr. Issacs on Friday. My Dr. is usually not in the office on Fridays because he holds clinic right across the river in Louisiana on Fridays. So maybe that is why they didn't call back, because they were not there. Hopefully, they will call in the morning. I will give them until lunch and then I will call back.

cd 1

Well, at 5:30 this morning Aunt Flo knocked on the door. I tried to make her go away, but she pushed right on in.

I am really frustrated right now. I figured up today that in 22 months I have done 15 rounds of clomid and only achieved pregnancy once and then miscarried. I have been adding premarin to see if maybe I have a mucous problem. That has not changed anything. I am really worried now that something is wrong with my eggs. We know Burt is fine. He could populate the entire world himself. I took Depo-Provera for four years. I am really worried that it did something to my eggs. I know I have some good ones. I have gotten pregnant twice, but miscarried both times b/c of clotting.

I called my Ob/GYN today and told him I was ready to go see the RE, Dr. Issacs, in Jackson. The nurse said it would probably be tomorrow before she would get the appointment made but that she would call me tomorrow. IUI here I come!!!!

Dang It!!!! ***UPDATED***

Today is cd 32. I should have started today. I haven't......yet. Not holding out any hope right now. My temps dropped this morning. Not below coverline yet, but pretty close. I have also started spotting. I usually don't. I usually just start. So far only a little bit of spotting though. I even had a triphasic chart this month. I had started to think that this could actually happen. That I could actually be pregnant. That we could be pregnant without IUI/IVF. I counted up today and in the past 2 years, I have done 15 cycles of clomid. Achieved one pregnancy but lost it at eight weeks. I don't hold out hope anymore. I don't like the odds. I am calling to get the appointment with the RE to try IUI. I am so frustrated and angry right now. I just don't understand why this has to be so hard for me.

BTW - I haven't tested since I did Monday. I started to this morning but thought for sure I was starting as soon as I stood up. I'll let you when good 'ol AF arrives.

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Well, it's 8:58 pm and AF still has not arrived. Haven't spotted again either. We'll see what in the morning brings. I'm sure AF is coming up the road.

Back to the Real World

We got home from Hot Springs last night. We had a BLAST. Lots of much needed R&R. I didn't want to go back to work today. I kept telling myself just one more day.

I am teaching two classes at night at the local community college this fall. We had our faculty dinner tonight.

On the TTC front, today is cd 29. Chickened out of POAS this morning. I'll see what my temps do in the morning. The new cycle should start Wednesday.

Election, Owie, and Vacation

This has been a busy week. Yesterday was the Primary election in Mississippi. My brother-in-law was running for State Auditor. He is in a run off. My sister and he were at a restaurant with his campaign crew last night and they called me every ten minutes wanting an update until 11:30 last night.

I got a major owie yesterday. I was at my weekly tennis lesson and we were working on power serves. I followed through and hit my chin as hard as I could. I didn't break the skin but it looks like I did. I have a 4 inch long bruise/knot. It hurts ssssoooooo bad!!!!

We leave for vacation tomorrow!!!! I won't post for a few days b/c we are going to Hot Springs, Arkansas for our anniversary. I can't believe we have been married for 5 years already.

On the TTC front, I am on cd 25. I should know something definite this time next week. I think I will wait and test on Monday and not ruin our trip.

Susan's Wedding

I have been out of town since Thursday morning. My friend Susan got married yesterday and I was her wedding coordinator/planner/director/decorator. I did it all. I am exhausted today. I slept until 12:30 pm and then got up and ate lunch and went back to bed at 4 pm and slept till 6 pm. I am up right now but I don't know for how much longer. We got home about 11:30 last night. It was an hour and a half drive and we had to help clean up after the wedding before we could leave. Susan left all the decisions up to me. She picked out the bridesmaids dresses and her dress and said she wanted Gerber daisies but that was all the decisions she made. She LOVED everything. Her fiance was worried Thursday and Friday b/c he didn't see the big picture of what everything was going to look like and he was concerned. He gave me a big hug after it was over and said that he LOVED everything, that it was perfect. The flower girl freaked out during pictures and is only in 2 pictures. I was worried she wouldn't go down the aisle but she did and everything was perfect. The only thing that happened was the air conditioner went out in the gym Friday night so we had to move the reception to another place in the church. But everything was fine. I wish I had a picture of Susan's bouquet but I don't. It was gorgeous. Here are some pics though.