cd 12

Negative OPK. Ultrasound scheduled for Friday at 10:30 to check on ovulation!!!!

Lazy Saturday

Well at least it was supposed to be. We worked in the yard last night when we got home. I went to bed about 11:00. It had started thundering at 9:00 and nothing had happened so I went on to bed. At 2:15 this morning a huge storm hit. We didn't have any damage but we didn't get much sleep. I was awake from 2:15 until about 4ish with the storm and then I couldn't go back to sleep. It was still raining at 10:00 this morning. We went and helped a friend of ours plant an orchard about 10:30. Yes, an orchard. She is French and has always dreamed of living on an orchard. She is divorced and has just bought 3.5 acres of land. What originally started out an 10 trees turned into 27 trees, 5 blackberries, 6 blueberry plants, 8 muscadines and a few other things. We were happy to help but we exhausted when we were done. After that we went to Lowe's to pick up a few things for our house and then came home and took a nap. Whew!!! What a day.

On the TTC front, today is cd8. I cheated a little this month. I took my Letrozole on cd 3-7 instead of 5-9. I have done this before in the past and I ovulated a little earlier that cd 17. I hope so this month. We'll see. Keep us in your prayers. This will be a long week for us. I will start the OPK on Monday and hopefully will have another IUI sometime next week!!!

Here's some pics of Noah I took 2 weeks ago when they were here visiting.

Notice the Mr. Potato Head Sunglasses!!!


























Gotta go for now!! Burt is grilling steaks and corn on the cob for dinner and it smells YUMMY!!!

13dpiui

Same song, second verse.

Still negative. Started spotting.

12dpIUI

Yep, still negative.

Thanks so much for all your prayers. Keep them coming!!!!

I want to kinda share in a little more detail the feelings and emotions that I have been feeling. Thanks so much Amberly and Celeste for all of your encouraging words.

I feel selfish. I have been so blessed. I wonder sometimes if I haven't thanked God enough for all of the many blessings in my life - for all of the gifts He has given me. I feel selfish for asking for yet something else.

I fell guilt. Guilt for the faithlessness that I have sometime have with God that this is never going to happen for me. I feel guilt for not being able to give my husband the 5 children he wants.

So many things are going through my mind. It seems like God only works on one thing at a time. we finally found out why I am not ovulating...then I miscarried...He pulled me through...found the first blood disorder....couldn't get pregnant...changed medications...fixed the mucous problem...still no pregnancy.....added IUI...finally pregnant...miscarried....for additional blood disorder....can't get pregnant.

I still have a glimmer of hope. I sill have a few days before this cycle is over. I am emotionally better today than I was yesterday. we'll see what tomorrow brings.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” - Mary Anne Radmacher

11dpiui

Well, BFN....again.

I come to you with a broken heart tonight. At 11dpiui with my last IUI, I had my BFP. Today - nothing. Not even an evaporation line. One side of me says "Shut up crazy girl - it's still early" and the other side says "Face It. It's Over". I am crying as I type. I know it may still be early. I have a friend who didn't get her BFP until 13dpiui. I am crampy and weepy though - so I know AF is on the way. I am so depressed. I came home an hour ago and have been in bed ever since. I just want to go back to bed and sleep for a long, long time. Please God, Please!!!

Why can't I have the one thing I want more than anything in this world. How can women, teenagers, get pregnant "accidentally" and even better "while on the pill" and I can time everything perfectly under the best conditions and I still can't seem to get pregnant.

Please pray for me tonight and tomorrow. Please pray hard for a BFP!!!!

Oh and I've Been Tagged
And it's a first for me too!!! I was tagged by Celeste to play a "who are you?" game. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people, posts their names, and then leaves a comment on their blogs, letting them know they've been tagged!

What Was I Doing Five Years Ago?
I was in graduate school at Delta State University pursuing a Master’s of Business Administration with a CIS emphasis.

Five things on my to do list today (or things I did today):
1) Go to CVS and buy more HPT.
2) Take more HPT
3) Stop stressing about HPT
4) Make out my test for class tomorrow night
5) Watch “Dancing with the Stars”

Five snacks that I love
1) Oreo Cream Pie
2) Cinnamon Toast
3) Chips and Kroger Brand French Onion Dip
4) Now & Laters
5) Triscuits & Ranch Dressing

Five Things I would do If I were a Billionaire
1) Tithe and Give
2) Buy Burt his own hunting club
3)Pay off all the debt me, my sister and Mom “might” owe (I don’t know if they do or not)
4) Invest
5) Save

5 bad habits I have:
1) Calling Burt names (just joking around - but sometimes it does hurt his feelings even though he knows I am only kidding around)
2) Taking HPTs
3) Reading Dr. Google
4) Doing my prayer time and Bible Study at night when I am super tired
5) Retail Therapy

Five places I've lived:
1) Greenville, MS (For the past 6 years)
2) Mississippi College, Clinton, MS (College Years)
3) Enterprise, MS (born and raised)
4) Salzburg, Austria (Spring semester 2001)
5) Cloud 9 (The last time I got a +HPT)

Five Jobs I've Had
1) Part-time Programmer/Analyst (WorldCom)
2) Bioinformaticist/IT Specialist (USDA)
3) Adjunct Professor (Mississippi Delta Community College)
4) Resident Assistant (MC)
5) Receptionist (Baptist Healthplex – Mississippi College)

Five people I want to know more about (a nice way of saying TAG):
1) Amberly Collins
2) Stephanie
3) Debbie
4) Maggie
5) Meg

10 dpIUI

BFN

Great Weekend

I have had a WONDERFUL weekend. Friday morning I went to Jackson to get my progesterone checked. It was greater than 20 which is what Dr. Isaacs office likes to see one week post-IUI!!! I had to drive 4 hours round-trip for a two second blood draw!!! Oh well, whatever it takes.

Mom came on Friday night and brought Eli and Noah. We had a GREAT time. We played outside all day yesterday. I miss those boys so much!!!

I'm hanging in there and waiting. I took a pregnancy test Friday, yesterday and today. The trigger shot is officially out of my system. It was really faint on Friday, much fainter yesterday, and only one line on the stick today. That is GREAT news. Now, if, I get a positive test I can be sure I am pregnant and that it is not the lingering effects of the trigger shot. I am so nervous about this week. I so hope I am pregnant. Last time I got a positive it was "really" faint, almost non-existent, on 10dpIUI and then very positive on 11dpIUI. Today is 9dpIUI!!!

IUI yesterday

Yesterday was quite eventful. Our IUI appointment was at 10:00. Burt did his thing and then the lab tech did her thing and then about 11:15 they called me back. I was surprised because usually Dr. Isaacs nurse Peggy does his IUIs, but he did it on Friday. Other than the uncomfortableness from speculum, I didn't feel a thing. I didn't even feel the catheter or the long cramp when they inject the sperm. I was SHOCKED. I had to ask him if he actually did it and of course I didn't believe him, so I asked Burt!!!

We left the office about 12:00 and headed to Kyoto's for lunch. As soon as they started cooking our food, the power went out and then we heard some loud noises and then the pressure in the building was so strong. We pulled back the blinds and saw a whole tree fly down the road about the cars. There was a tornado right above us. It was so scary. I am shaking now just typing about it.

Today we helped some friends move from one house right down the road from us to another one right down the road on the other side of us. Tonight we rode down the levee to look at the flooding water for a while. They are closing the levee tomorrow. Burt can go up there b/c he has to. He has been rising the levee everyday for two weeks and will continue to for about another 2 weeks looking for weak spots in the levee. He said we could go up there later this week when it gets to its highest point. You have to remember that our house butts up to the levee. We are not scared. It is only at 55' now and is only supposed to get to 56' and the levee at our house is supposed to withstand 72'. As long as it doesn't completely break in some part of town we are all fine. Now the people who built their houses inside the levee are already flooded - BIG TIME.

Please pray for us over the next two weeks as we wait - most of you know how difficult that is. I will have my progesterone checked onm Friday. I actually had Dr. Isaacs laughing both days this week. I think he is finally starting to let his guard down with me.

Oh BTW - Normal sperm count is supposed to be 20 million. Burt had 245 million last IUI. This time it was 370 million. Everything was PERFECT!!!!!

cd 16 - OPK negative, but.....

So the OPK was negative this morning. Oh well. My appointment was at10:30. When the OPk came back negative I was really starting to get worried. The ultrasound went great. No signs of ovulation on my right ovary. My left ovary had a follicle measuring 21 - which he said was GREAT! My lining was 9mm - which is also GREAT! They went ahead and gave me a trigger shot and I am to go back in at 10:00 in the morning for an IUI. Please keep us in your prayers!!!

CD 15 - OPK Negative

Still negative. Going to get ultrasound in the morning. Please pray that we haven't missed ovulation.

CD 14 - OPK Negative

Still Negative - Keep praying!!!!