cd 33

Today is cd 33. Negative test this morning. Temp dropped by a whole degree, but not quite to cover line. I kept telling myself that maybe I didn't take it right. I went to Jackson last night for a lingerie shower for a friend and it was storming on the way. I left work about 2:30 and I got home about 11:30 last night. I got in bed about 12:30 and then we had a prank phone call at 2:30 and 5:00 this morning and then I had to take the temp at 5:30 and I am not convinced I had my mouth closed all the way. I guess I am just going to start late this month. I am NEVER this late. Last time I was pregnant I didn't test until cd 34 and it was very faint then. And that one turned out to be a blighted ovum. I am so upset this morning. THIS SUCKS!!!! I just knew this month was going to work. Over the past two days I had convinced myself I was pregnant. I want a baby so BAD!!!! Now I have to wait a whole another month. Only two more months of this and I can go for the IUI!!! I just don't understand!!!!!!! Why does God choose to bless people who don't take care of their babies, or who or not married. WHY???? I have done everything right in my life. We just built this beautiful 4 bedroom dream home, but I can't even fill one other room much less all of them. I just don't understand why this has to be so hard for me. I could understand if I only had 1 tube or 1 ovary, but they removed the endometrosis, and unblocked my left tube, but still can't find anything else "wrong" with me.