Prayers Work!!!

Oh my goodness, God is so good!! I can't praise Him enough for what he has already done. Thank you to all of you who have been praying. Please don't stop now. This morning I got a positive OPK (the digital smiley face one). I was SHOCKED. In 3 years, I have NEVER, EVER gotten a positive. I called the nurse on call and now my IUI will be done at 9:00 in the morning. Please, Please keep praying. God is so good!!!!

Also, I have a horrible head cold. Please pray this goes away....quickly!!!

Back in Town

I finally made it back in town last night. I have been gone for a week. It has been a crazy, wonderful week.

Last Friday, I worked until lunch and then drove home to see Noah. Amy and Todd were coming back from Disney World and I wanted some time with him before they got home. Nannie and Papaw were keeping him for the day because Mom was going to have to work late. Noah and I played for a long time. He seemed so excited to see me. Mom came on home earlier than she thought and brought pizza for supper. Amy, Todd, and Eli got home about 7. They had a really good time.

Saturday, Mom and I went shopping. Amy and Todd and the boys left for Todd's parents in Jackson and we didn't see them again until Christmas Eve. Sunday, Mom and I went to church and then to Nannie's for lunch. Trey, Sidnette, and Essi came for lunch and we had Christmas with them afterward.

Monday, the Dish Network man came to install Mom's new DVR (me, Burt, Todd, and Amy gave it to her for Christmas). Then Mom, Burt, and I went to Meridian and ate Mexican and then Burt and I headed to his Papaw's for Flanagan Christmas #3.

Amy, Todd and the boys spent the night Christmas Eve with us. Amy was in a bad mood. She was not prepared for Christmas at all. But Christmas Day was wonderful with the whole family. The day after Christmas I went shopping and then spent the night at Amy's. Noah had tubes put in and his adenoids (sp?) removed on Thursday, so I kept Eli. Then Friday I had to go see my thyroid doctor. I thought my levels were low. I haven't been feeling well. But they were high and my dosage has decreased to 100mcg. I don't think we are ever going to get this under control again. I go back in 6 weeks.

I am doing my OPK every day. No positive yet. I am using three different kinds. I am using the cheap one from Babyhopes.com, the Clearblue Digital, and Answer. I am having EWCM right now. I hope it continues until Wednesday. I usually have EWCM about now and I usually think I am ovulating but I don't until cd 17 or 18. We are hoping for cd 18. Wednesday is my IUI. I am terrified. I am terrified that we will do it too late. I wish we could do it Monday. I am terrified that it will hurt. I hurt during Pap Smears. Please keep us in your prayers.

Pray for:
1) That I will ovulate at the right time for my IUI on Wednesday
2) Pray that it is not extremely painful
3) Pray that God's Will , will be done in all of this.
4) Pray for my sanity. This is all I can seem to think about these days.

Jan 2, 2008 - 9 AM

That is my IUI Appt!!!!!!

Can you hear me shouting from the rooftops???

Please everyone pray though. Because of the holidays I will not be able to have an ultrasound to see if I am ovulating. We are basing it on past history. They suggested I just wait another cycle, but I can't do that. I lost it when the nurse said wait. They immediately called me back and said Dr. Isaacs said there was no reason not to do it on cd 18....which is when I usually ovulate. They said to use the OPK and if I get a surge, call and we will go ahead and do it.

Just Like Expected

Just like I expected, Aunt Flo came right on in this morning. I was bummed at first, but now I am super excited. I am so glad to have that cycle over. I will call Dr. Issacs office first thing in the morning and see what we need to do.

Ugh!!!!

Well, I started spotting HEAVILY today. I am cramping really bad as well. So Aunt Flo will be here in the morning. My temps also dropped today. I don't know what happened this cycle. Nothing has been normal. Oh well. Now we have a specific prayer request. Pray for my IUI. I will call the doctor on Monday. Pray that we do the IUI this cycle. I will update as soon as I hear from them.

I cooked homemade lasagna tonight! YUM!!! It was really easy. Burt's parents came over and ate with us and they brought Burt's 2 nieces. Kirsten (6) and Julia (18 months) are spending the night with them tonight. It was so much fun to get to spend time with the girls. I haven't seen them but twice since last Christmas and they only live an hour away. They stay busy and it seems like I am never here when they come to visit.

Tomorrow we go to Mathiston for Flanagan Christmas #2. Flanagan Christmas #1 was supposed to be tonight at our house but there was a death in the distant family so we had to cancel it earlier this week.

Amy, Todd, and Eli left at 6:30 this morning for Disney World. I talked to my Mom at 4 and they had called and said they made it. They drove. They will be home Friday night. I hope they have a WONDERFUL time. Mom is keeping Noah,

Finals

Tonight, I gave my very first final ever. My students did really well. No one failed, no one made Ds. I had 2 Cs and the rest were As and Bs. I was really worried. I thought they were all going to fail and then there I would be, a first year teacher with a bad rep.

Today is cd 27. Temps are still up. Chickened out of a test today. If my temps are still up in the morning, I will test again. I have this feeling that they will plummet though. But the weird thing is that I always spot 3 days before my period. But this month...nothing. Even if I calculated based on ovulating on cd 17 and I know I didn't, I should be spotting today. I'm trying not to read anything into this. I know it is just my body playing really cruel tricks on me again.

Party, Pictures, BFN

Today we had a going away party for Yolanda at work. She is transferring to another unit within our area. She hates our unit. She thinks we are all out to get her. Her last day will be next Friday. She HATES me. She is very threatened by me. I do the Bioinformatics work and she does the general IT work in our unit. Now I am going to have to take on her duties, but I am supposed to get a raise soon for doing it. It is not real simple to give some a raise in the federal government. I am at my maximum grade level and they are going to have to totally rewrite my position to give me the promotion. And, to makes things harder, they have lost my personnel file. I'm really not surprise. It has been stolen before.

Guess what??? I got my Christmas Present early. I had told you several weeks ago that they were installing my china cabinet. We finally finished it about a week and a half ago. It makes the dining room look really BIG. I was worried when they brought it in that it would be too big and would absorb the room, but it doesn't. It is solid oak. Here it is:

Today is cd 26. No sign of AF. I ovulated on cd 11 or 12....I know REALLY early, even for me......especially for me. I have ovulated this early once before. Even on the fertility drugs, I can't seem to ovulate normally. Usually is it around cd 17 or 18 but every once in a while something like this happens. I broke down and took a cheap test from Dollar General today...mainly b/c that is the only store we have in Leland. It was a BFN....AGAIN!!! I am so frustrated, so angry, terrified, disappointed, broke, hurt, jealous. I have so many emotions running through my head right now. Oh and I forgot to tell you, remember Yolanda, she is pregnant with #3.

Here are some pictures of our house decorated for Christmas. From this angle the trees look crooked, but standing in the yard, they don't.

I'm Back

Ok. I know I have been away from Blog Land for a while now, but I'm back. Life has been so crazy for us. I went home during Thanksgiving and then had tons to do the week after and then I went home last weekend again to hear Eli sing his very first solo in church. Yes, I cried...a lot. Then this past week I had ornament exchange at church and then so much to do. Burt and I went and ate breakfast at Sonic one morning this week and decided that was the most time we had seen each other all week. Mom came this weekend to see the house decorated for Christmas. So much to catch you up on but it will all have to wait. We put up a live wreath on the door tonight and live garland and 2 6 ft. pre-lit douglas fir trees. I'll take a picture and upload tomorrow night. I already have the camera downloading pics tonight. Remind me if I forget. I better go for now. I'll write more tomorrow.

Int he TTC world, I ovulated REALLY early this month....cd 11. Today is cd 23. I broke down and took a test. BFN!!!

Oh well, on to IUI next month. I'm kinda worried about it though b/c I don't ovulate normally. I ovulate anywhere between cd 11 and 17 so there will probably be a lot of monitoring. Anyone been though this and can give me some advice?

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!

I am headed to my Mom's tomorrow so I won't be blogging for a few days. I have had Eli since Friday night and we are having a BLAST! I can't wait to see my family!!

Christmas Pics and Eli

Burt and I took our Christmas picture last night. Here it is:

Here is my Christmas Tree:



Eli riding Black Beauty:



Our church is feeding those less fortunate this Thanksgiving. They asked church members to bring Turkeys already sliced or a cake (that they would slice) to the church by noon tomorrow. So being the wonderful mom-wanna-be that I am decided that this would be a GREAT learning opportunity for Eli. Remember, he is 8. He was trying to decide what kind of cake to make and he said "Aunt Bet I bet the poor people have never had chocolate. Maybe we should make chocolate." Then he decided, "No, we should make a regular cake and put chocolate icing on it in case they don't like the chocolate, they can take it off." Out of the mouth of babes.

Here is his cake:

cd 1

Today is cd 1. Today starts cycle 3 of 3 before IUI.

Hope is Gone

Well, any shred of hope that I had earlier in the week is gone. My temps plummeted this morning and then I spotted a tad bit of red this morning. Then nothing until now and now I am spotting brown. I know TMI!!! I'm sorry. Not to mention that I took a test yesterday and it was a BFN!!!!

I played Bunko tonight and that was a lot of fun. It got my mind off of fertility for a while. God and I had a long talk this morning in the bathtub. I wish I could just hear him in a audible voice say "It's Ok. This is why this is happening." Last night I was worried about a lot of things. I did hear a voice say "Everything's going to be ok". It was surreal. I know it was God. I just know it. I had this unusual sense of peace right after that.

Now without further adu, here are the pictures of Katie Margaret Hanes. Her Mom is my best friend in the whole wide world, Meg. We went to college together.

Day Off....

Well, today was my day off. I have had such a GREAT long weekend. It was productive, but not in the way I had planned. I finished my Christmas shopping and started wrapping presents. Mom finished making the bows for my garland and wreaths but I didn't get them up. I had planned on doing that today, we will as cleaning the house, and sewing. But that didn't happen. At 6:02 am Burt's cell phone rang. I sat straight up in the bed. It was our cabinet builder. He had finished our china cabinet and said he wanted to install it today. Burt said that is fine and to call me when he was ready to come. He said it would be sometime mid-morning. The phone rang at 8:15 (I guess that is his mid-morning!!) and he was there at 8:30 am. They worked until 2 pm installing it. It is gorgeous and HUGE. It is wall to wall, floor to ceiling. I stained the bottom half today and started to get a little woozy so Burt is staining the top right now. I will post some pics when we are completely finished. They have to bring the doors for the bottom back later in the week. I am so excited!!! It adds so much to the room. I wish I had thought to take a before picture but they surprised me by coming today. i am so glad I was already off work today.

Today is 11 dpo. I spotted a little bit today. I did this last month too. I don't know maybe it is the letrozole. I have never done this before. I think I spotted a little yesterday too. Last month I started spotting on cd 11 too. So it is probably nothing to get excited about. I went and bought some pregnancy tests today. I had a $5 off coupon at CVS so I went ahead. I may take one in the morning. I am trying not too. But I might. Not getting my hopes up......Not expecting anything....

Another Long Week

I don't even remember much about Monday and Tuesday b/c this week has been so long. Wednesday night I had class. Thursday night I had class and we had a fire drill in the middle of it. Why would you schedule a fire drill this late in the semester and on a night when it is 30 degrees? Why couldn't we have done this when it was a little warmer?

We went to Mistletoe on Friday. It was a lot of fun. It was really crowded. I bought several things though. I bought a 4 ft tall feather boa Christmas tea to match my feather boa wreath. I bought a wooden sign that says "God may your blessings be on my family". I bought Noah a Mississippi State tri-cycle for Christmas. I bought a couple of Christmas platters.

Mom and I got home about 10 Friday night and I was exhausted. I left home at 7 am Friday, drove two hours, shopped all day, and them drove home 2 more hours. I crawled in bed about 11 and Mom woke us up at 6:45 am Saturday. We got dressed and drove 2 hours North to South Haven shopping. Got home at 10 and in bed at 11 again. We then had church today and it was my Sunday for Deaf Interpretation. That always wears me out. But hey, I have tomorrow off for Veterans Day. One of the many perks of having a federal job.

I had been optimistic about this cycle so far. I was actually getting excited and hope was creeping back in. I had imagined how I would tell everyone at Christmas. Yesterday and today for some reason though, I have been very depressed and have this feeling that it is never going to happen for me. I wish I could snap out of this. It doesn't help that my mind is playing tricks on me. My boobs are killing me but I am only 10 dpo. I am sure they are just getting ready for the next cycle. They are always tender about now, but they REALLY hurt today. And I have been getting really nauseated at 5 pm every afternoon for the past few days. This happens sometimes too. It could all be something or it could all be nothing....I am betting on something. I am giving this all to God. It is all in his control. I just don't understand why he would put this desire in my heart and not fulfill it. But that is not for me to worry about. God knows and things work in His time and in His way. On another note, Burt has now been officially working with the youth at church for 6 months and the personnel committee still hasn't brought it before the church. Keep us in your prayers this week. Wednesday night is the business meeting. Hopefully we will have some good news for a change. But once again, in God' timing and in His way!!

Progesterone and China Cabinet

Well, I thought I was going to have to have my 7 dpo progesterone checked on Thursday which is really inconvenient because I will be in Jackson on Friday for Mistletoe. I called the nurse today and she said I didn't need to have it run at all b/c my levels have been doing so good.

And on the plus side, I ovulated on cd 16 this month!! WOOHOO!!! A whole day early. This will be a 30 day cycle instead of 31. I want them as short as possible!!!! Today is cd 20.

The carpenter who custom built all of the abinets in our house came today to take final measurements. Burt is getting him to build me a wall to wall, floor to ceiling china cabinet to match all of the other oak cabinets in the house. I am so excited. I have to stain it, which will of course be a pain, but it will be beautiful!! He was going to start it today. I can't wait.

Halloween, Christmas Decorations, and Babies

First of all,
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

I know I am really late, but I am so busy during the week.....as always.

Eli, Noah, and Anna Kate were precious. But of course, I forgot the pics at work. I'll post them Monday. Eli was Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean, Noah was the Cookie Monster, and Anna Kate was a cowgirl.

Now that Halloween is over, I started putting out my Christmas Decorations tonight. Burt put up the tree last night. I have been working on the ornaments and the decorations around the house tonight. I will post some pics this week. We are going to go ahead and take our Christmas card picture this week so that we can have them made.

And finally babies......no I am not pregnant. Had you thinking I was didn't I. No, my friend Meg had her baby, Katie Margaret, yesterday. She is precious. I have pictures but I don't want to upload them until Meg does on her site. They should be up soon. She is still in the hospital. As for me, today is cd 17. I think I ovulated yesterday. Looks like we have had perfect timing this month and I have had a good amount of EWCM. At least I think it is a good amount. It tons more than I have EVER seen. I will go next Friday for my lab work and see what my progesterone is.

I am so excited about my Christmas tree. I love this time of year. But and I have been so blessed this year. Really, we have. Even if we haven't had a baby, we are still EXTREMELY blessed. On a sad note, Burt's cousin lost her baby at 17 weeks. Keep her in your prayers. She already has 4 children that range from 2 - 12. Her 2 year olds are twin girls and one of them has down syndrome. Heather has always wanted 5 children. They are going to keep on trying. The doctors don't know what happened. Her, her husband, and the 4 children went to the doctor for her 17 week checkup and were going to let the kids hear the heartbeat but it wasn't there. They said the baby died at 15 weeks.

Pictures

Today is cd 11.

We rode our horses today. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was about 70 degrees.

I have had a killer headache for the past new days. I don't know if it is my hormones or the lower dosage of synthroid or the weather or what, but it will not go away.

Now without, further adu.....Here are some of the pics I have been promising! More will come soon. These were all taken on a Sunday afternoon in our backyard. Noah was helping Uncle Burt water the trees and flowers.

Burt is going to be such a good Daddy some day. I can't wait!

This one is my favorite. It is like he is saying "Ok Uncle Burt. You said pick up the hose. Now let's Go!!!!"

I can hear Noah now. When he falls down he says "Uh-Oh Fall Fall"!

Quick Post

Quick Post. I have to run. I'll give full details later. And I promise the pics will soon come. I have then downloaded I just need to open them in PhotoShop and change the resolution so they won't ake so long to upload. I am about halfway done.

Went to the Thyroid Doctor today. levels are going nuts again. Changed from .137 mg of synthroid to .125. Oh, and he is said that he will be worried about me when I do get pregnant.

BUMMER! I think I am going to scream.

Family

I have been so super busy. Mom, Nannie, Papaw, and my nephew Noah were here last weekend. Then I spent Monday and Tuesday cleaning like a mad dog. I had to teach Wednesday and Thursday night and then my sister, bro-in-law, Eli, and Noah came to visit for the weekend. We have had a good weekend. We don't get to spend much time together, so this weekend was nice. I have tons of pictures to upload. Maybe tomorrow night after they leave. I just wanted to give you a quick update in my TTC world. Today is cd 4. AF came a day late and I so had my hopes up. I was really upset on Wednesday, but now I have newed optimism. Basically b/c even if I don't get pregnant I am one cycle closer to IUI. I have this cycle I am currently in and one more before IUI. I will start the Letrozole tomorrow. I have to go see my thyroid doctor Tuesday for a recheck from when my levels went nuts back in the Spring. Hopefully everything is ok. Since I don't have a thyroid there is no hope in this ever correcting itself. Only by medication.

WooHoo!!!!

I ovulated!!!!! It took an act of Congress to get my results, but it doesn't matter because now I KNOW that I ovulated. My progesterone level was 20.57. Keep your fingers crossed and keep us in your prayers!!!!

I have to go clean my house now. Mom, Noah, Nannie, and Papaw are coming to visit tomorrow for the weekend.

Progesterone

Well, I went for my Progesterone level yesterday. I drove to Vicksburg to my Ob/GYN clinic. It is only about an house drive. I didn't want to go to the local hospital b/c we just fired a girl at work and she is suing the agency and she now works in the hospital lab.

Anyhoo, I left the clinic at 2 pm yesterday. The nurse said she would fax over the results as soon as she got them. She should have had them yesterday afternoon but I understand the lab could have been backed up. Dr. Issacs office said they would call as soon as they received the results. At 2:30 this afternoon I called them and they had NOT received the fax. So I called my clinic back and had to leave a message for the nurse. I still have not heard from Dr. Issacs office. I will give them until lunch tomorrow and then I will call again.

Boring Week

Not much to report this week. I never got a positive on my OPK (big surprise there, I never have). According to my temperature charts I ovulated on Tuesday which would be about right since I saw the fertile CM on Monday. I will go Tuesday to get my Progesterone level done.

Burt is refereeing a high school football game tonight so he won't be home until late.

I went and bought mums and pansies to plant tomorrow when I got off work today. I got home around 5:30 and I have been grading papers ever since. It is now 9 pm.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!

Today is my 28th birthday!!! Friday was Burt's 29th birthday and Thursday was my niece's (Anna Kate's) 3rd birthday!!! Burt gave me a watch and a North Face jacket. I gave Burt jeans and a gun cleaning kit.

We went home this past weekend to see the family and to go to Anna Kate's birthday party. I will have to upload the pics later, as well as the pics of the new truck. I am too tired tonight. We didn't get home until 9:30 last night and had tons to do when we got home. I ran errands after work today and then we planted 2 crepe myrtles in the yard. Since then I have been cooking food for a going away party for a girl at work. One other lady and I are going to prepare all of the food. It is easier that way.

This will be a busy week for me. Tons to do. I did finally get a paycheck from the college for the classes I have been teaching so now it seems worth it.

Today is cd 16. Keep your fingers crossed!! I have had or the past couple of days egg white CM. This is a first ever for me. I have never had it before. Things are looking up for me. It may not happen this month, but at least I know the new medicine is doing something!

New Truck

I got a new truck Friday!!! I will take a picture and post for you tomorrow. It has been a crazy weekend and I just haven't done it yet and now it is too dark outside. We got a 2007 Toyota 4Runner. Is is Galactic Grey Metallic, which is like a Pewter color with a hint of blue in it. I love it!!! The local dealership who never deals much gave us a SUPER deal because it was the last 2007 on the lot and they really wanted to get rid of it. Plus, we qualified for 2.9% financing!! We traded in Burt's BIG Red Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab that got 12 miles to the gallon and we kept my Toyota Sequoia. That is what Burt is driving now.

Today is cd 8 so I have been taking the Letrozole for a few days now. So far not really any side effects. I did wake up this morning with some hot flashes but they were not nearly as bad as with the clomid. I pray this works. Even if I don't get pregnant. I just pray I ovulate. Even though I would rather get pregnant but I at least need to know this is working. Does that make sense?

My birthday is October 1st but Burt went ahead and gave me my birthday gift last night because he accidentally let it slip what it was. It was new watch, which I needed. I will post a pic of that tomorrow as well. My niece, Anna Kate, has a birthday coming up. Her 3rd will be Thursday and then Burt's 29th is Friday and then my 28th is the next Monday (1st). We are going home this weekend to celebrate all the birthday with a princess birthday (that is mainly for Anna Kate).

CD 1

Well, she came. Aunt Flo has been knocking on the door all day and finally came in this afternoon. Oh well, at least this cycle was finally over and I can start the new meds. Keep us in your prayers as we start this new medication this week. I am really nervous about it. I am so scared that I won't ovulate on it.

Bummer

Bummer. I think AF will be here tomorrow. My temp dropped today. And I even had an implantation dip right when I should have. AF is due tomorrow so I am sure she will come right on time in the morning.

We have been so busy today. We never cleaned the stickers off of the windows when we moved in the new house. We borrowed some scaffolding and have been cleaning all day. We are not quite finished. we also cleaned out the garage and cleaned off the back porch. The front porch is filthy. But I don't know when we will get to finish it. We have church in the morning and then Burt has 2 tennis matches tomorrow afternoon/night. Monday I have a board meeting at the tennis club and Burt has to referee a junior high football game that got rained out Thursday night because of the monsoon that came from the remnants of the hurricane that hit Texas. Then Tuesday night we both have a tennis match. Wednesday night he has church and I have class. Thursday night he has to call a game and I have class and Bunko. And then we are back to Friday. We are way too busy. We need to slow down. We missed Burt's nieces sixth birthday party today. I feel really bad but her Mom waited until this week to plan it and we had plans around the house. Plus, I looked at the calendar and since March we have had 2 weekends at home with nothing to do. And between now and Thanksgiving, there won't be but a couple more.

I guess one positive will come this week from AF visiting. I will get to start the new fertility drug, Letrozole. Has anyone taken this? Any side effects? Anything I should expect? Anything you feel like telling me about it? Did it work for anyone?

VerticalFest

We took the youth to the concert (VerticalFest) last night. It was ok. Not really my taste in music. There were 13 bands and some were really good. It was Heavy Metal Christian music. But two of the band would sometimes stop in the middle of the set and have a time of worship and sing praise songs. It was really nice when they did that. The kids had fun and it was all about Jesus so I really can't complain. We got home about 1 am. I am exhausted today. I had to sign for the deaf for both service in church today. I forgot to take my synthroid yesterday. i remembered it at 11 pm last night on the bus and then there was nothing I could do, so I feel AWFUL today. Hopefully, I can get some rest tonight though.

Another Long Week....

Working at USDA full-time and teaching two night classes on top of that is kicking my butt!!!!

I went home this past weekend to see Mom and the boys. We had a GREAT time. Eli and Noah spent the entire weekend with us. Amy and Todd even cooked barbecue for me, Mom, KK, Aunt Ann, Uncle Sonny, Nannie, and Papaw on Monday. I got home about 7:30 Monday night. I had hoped to be home sooner than that, but oh well, such is life.

Worked Tuesday. Played tennis Tuesday night.

Class Wednesday night and Thursday night.

Work today. It has been a crazy busy week at work. I helped Dr. Peterson with the fish at the hatchery in a study he is doing because Monica has not been there all week (she is his technician). She will probably not be in for at least another week. I am so worried about her. She hasn't left the house since Sunday. She's not taking calls or visitors either. She is in a serious state of depression. And rightly so. I am just so worried about her. And so many people have called her and they have no clue what to say and they end up making things worse.

We are going to Pine Bluff to an 8 hour contemporary Christian concert tomorrow. I think there are 7 artists performing. We are taking the youth from the church. I hope to get some sleep on Sunday between Morning services and evening services. I have so much to do around the house though.

And on top of that. I am on CD 23 and my BBT chart is showing no ovulation. My temps have not risen at all. I have all the classic signs of ovulation but my temp has not risen. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Has anyone else ever ovulated and the temp didn't rise? I didn't use an OPK this month because they usually don't work anyway (Dr. Isaacs said they only work for 85% of women anyway) and when I should have ovulated I was at Mom's house and Burt was here so there was no point anyway.

Check out my friends', Jeff and Abby, blog http://jeffandabbey2001.blogspot.com/
They are on their way to Taiwan right now to get their precious little baby Reed that they adopted. He is 6 months old. They will be home next Friday.

Long Week

Last week was a very long week for me. Sorry I didn't get any posts done. Here is a breakdown of my week:

Monday - Dr. Isaacs - we all know how that went

Tuesday - Tired from Monday. It was a long day in Jackson at the doctor and didn't get home until 9:30. Went to bed Tuesday night when I got home from work.

Wednesday - Taught night class after my full-time job.

Thursday - Taught night class after my full-time job.

Friday - My friend Monica, the one who is pregnant and got married in June, lost her baby. They really don't know what happened. She was 24 weeks. They are going to run some tests. I have told you before that she wasn't using an OB. She was seeing a family practitioner and I didn't like some of the things he was telling her. I'm really worried about her. She is blaming herself. She had just told me last Thursday that she hated being pregnant. She said God took her baby because she was ungrateful and complained so much. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She and Jay have along road ahead of them. They had just ordered Lindey's nursery bedding and it came in over the weekend. I left here Friday and went and went to see Mom. Eli and Noah spent the night with us Friday night and then Saturday we met Amy and Todd and went shopping. Then to church on Sunday. Sunday afternoon Trey and Sidnette brought Essi for all of us to meet (the little girl they have adopted). She is 4 and is precious. Late Sunday afternoon Mom and I went to town shopping. Then yesterday we had lunch at Amy adn Todd's house (yes, they cooked). Then we spent the afternoon boxing up baby clothes and going through all of Eli's clothes. I brought back 8 of the BIG rubbermaids full of clothes. Now if only I have a boy. If we have a girl I don't know what I will do with all of this. Now I have to go home today and unpack it all. I'm not even pregnant and will have a closet full of clothes. I hope I don't lose it while I am unpacking.

Dr. Isaacs

Well, we met with Dr. Isaacs today. He was nice. I absolutely LOVED his nurse. I don't know, maybe I just have to warm up to him. He seemed a little perturbed that my Ob/Gyn's office had not sent over my medical records yet. He says that clomid has done all it is going to do for me so we are changing medications. I will now be taking letrozole on cd days 5-9 for the next three months. If this does not work in three months, we will do this plus an IUI. I'm kinda discouraged. I am tired of simply taking pills every month. I have been doing this for 2 years. I know he knows what he is doing and he is very conservative. He doesn't like to get aggressive until he absolutely has to and I respect that. The appointment just didn't go as I had hoped. I want answers. I want something, anything, done.

Water, Water Everywhere!!!!

Julie was induced at 6 am yesterday. I didn't go to the hospital until we knew something. We had one friend sitting up there who kept calling all of us. When I got off work at 4 yesterday, I called the hospital and they said she still had not delivered. WE have Burt's 10 year class reunion this weekend and were supposed to have drinks at Fermo's last night. We decided after work that since Julie had not had the baby, there was no reason to go to the hospital yet. We decided to go home and change clothes for the reunion and then go to the hospital before we went to the reunion. WE walked in the house and I changed clothes and didn't notice anything. Burt walked in the bedroom and and when he did water started seeping through the joints in our hardwood. There was no evidence of a leak - other than that. No water on the floor in our bathroom. The walls weren't wet and it was only in one spot in our bathroom. We shut the water off and called the plumber who came right on. He had to cut a hole in our bedroom wall to find the pipes. He said it was a really slow leak in the copper pipes. He said it has probably been leaking since the house was built and it just now accumulated enough water to show. He fixed the leak and we went to Lowe's and bought a dehumidifier. It has been running all night and we have filled up 2 buckets with water. The floor isn't squishy anymore and when you step on it water doesn't seep through, so hopefully it didn't damage the hardwood too much. We do have extra hardwood but I really don't want to have to pay someone to come in and lay it, especially since the dehumidifier cost $150.

So after we hooked the dehumidifier up, we had already missed the reunion (but that's ok - more reunion today). So we decided to go on to the hospital. We walked through the doors about 7:30 and met Shannon's parents in the hall. Maggie Grace Moore was born at 7:13 pm last night and while she was a premie, she was a healthy premie. She weighed 4 lb 14 oz and was 17 1/2 inches long. I think they had her due date off a little. I think she was further along then they had thought, which is quite possible because she doesn't really know when she conceived because she was on the pill and she was about 10 weeks before she knew she was pregnant. I was a little irritated last night. They said Maggie was fine but after 2 hours Julie still had not seen her and they wouldn't let her go to the nursery - not even in a wheelchair - and there was nothing wrong with her. Then, this hospital doesn't have a neonatologist and we don't have a pediatrician in this town either, so they had to call the Family Doctor who also sees babies. But they said that there was no reason to call him until this morning. They were not going to call a Dr at all to look at the newborn last night - not even as a PREMIE!!!!!! I had to leave about 9:30, I was about to lose it. This is not the hospital we will use. My doctor is in Vicksburg ( an hour away). These people here are crazy!!!!

Still excited about seeing Dr. Isaacs Monday. Keep us in your prayers. I really want to try something, anything, this cycle. I took my clomid and Monday is cd 12 and I usually ovulate around cd 18 so hopefully we can fit in a IUI this cycle.

Class

I started teaching tonight. This is my first semester to teach. I am teaching two sections (Wednesday night and Thursday night) of the same class. It went well tonight. I had 5 students not show up and another 2 that wanted in the class but it was full. I couldn't do too much with them tonight because I was missing so many students. We covered half of the first chapter. We will cover the second half next week and take a test the next week.

Anxiously awaiting my appointment with Dr. Isaacs on Monday. I got some information from his office in the mail today. I can't wait. It did say to bring a credit card though......

Monday, August 27th, 1:30 p.m.

That is my appointment with Dr. Issacs. I am stoked. I can't believe I got in that quick. Hopefully, we will go ahead with the IUI this month. Monday will be cd 12 and I usually ovulate on cd 18. Cross your fingers and keep me in your prayers.

My friend Julie is still in the hospital, but has not had the baby yet. She has been having some really strong contractions but they have managed to stop them. They have given her 2 shots to help Maggie's lungs. They hope she can hold off until tomorrow after 5:30 pm. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She is going to have a tiny baby and the closest NICU is 2 hours away.

Canoeing and Babies

We took the youth from the church canoeing yesterday. It was alot of fun. I am so tired today though and my legs are all bruised up. I haven't had that much fun in a while. KK brought Eli and they canoed with us.

At our church our young married adult Sunday School class takes turns feeding the other coupldes dinner when someone has surgery or a baby. Tonight Burt and I had to feed Andy and Jennifer. They had their baby on the 9th. They are my friends that got pregnant their first month on clomid. They baby is prescious but they said they are worn out and don't have a clue what they are doing.

My other friends, Shannon and Julie, who are due in October went the the hospital after church was over this morning because she thought her water was leaking. Well, it was, it broke. The is 33 weeks. They have her in the hospital and are trying to make her wait 48 hours. I wish her the best. They are my friends who accidentally got pregnant on birth control.

I was doing ok with my infertility so far and then all of this this weekend. I started crying during church tonight. It is just so not fair. I don't know why God is putting my through all of this. I know it is all part of his big plan for my life and that He is using this for his glory but I just don't see it. I am so frustrated right now. The doctor didn't call me back with my appointment with Dr. Issacs on Friday. My Dr. is usually not in the office on Fridays because he holds clinic right across the river in Louisiana on Fridays. So maybe that is why they didn't call back, because they were not there. Hopefully, they will call in the morning. I will give them until lunch and then I will call back.

cd 1

Well, at 5:30 this morning Aunt Flo knocked on the door. I tried to make her go away, but she pushed right on in.

I am really frustrated right now. I figured up today that in 22 months I have done 15 rounds of clomid and only achieved pregnancy once and then miscarried. I have been adding premarin to see if maybe I have a mucous problem. That has not changed anything. I am really worried now that something is wrong with my eggs. We know Burt is fine. He could populate the entire world himself. I took Depo-Provera for four years. I am really worried that it did something to my eggs. I know I have some good ones. I have gotten pregnant twice, but miscarried both times b/c of clotting.

I called my Ob/GYN today and told him I was ready to go see the RE, Dr. Issacs, in Jackson. The nurse said it would probably be tomorrow before she would get the appointment made but that she would call me tomorrow. IUI here I come!!!!

Dang It!!!! ***UPDATED***

Today is cd 32. I should have started today. I haven't......yet. Not holding out any hope right now. My temps dropped this morning. Not below coverline yet, but pretty close. I have also started spotting. I usually don't. I usually just start. So far only a little bit of spotting though. I even had a triphasic chart this month. I had started to think that this could actually happen. That I could actually be pregnant. That we could be pregnant without IUI/IVF. I counted up today and in the past 2 years, I have done 15 cycles of clomid. Achieved one pregnancy but lost it at eight weeks. I don't hold out hope anymore. I don't like the odds. I am calling to get the appointment with the RE to try IUI. I am so frustrated and angry right now. I just don't understand why this has to be so hard for me.

BTW - I haven't tested since I did Monday. I started to this morning but thought for sure I was starting as soon as I stood up. I'll let you when good 'ol AF arrives.

****************************************************

Well, it's 8:58 pm and AF still has not arrived. Haven't spotted again either. We'll see what in the morning brings. I'm sure AF is coming up the road.

Back to the Real World

We got home from Hot Springs last night. We had a BLAST. Lots of much needed R&R. I didn't want to go back to work today. I kept telling myself just one more day.

I am teaching two classes at night at the local community college this fall. We had our faculty dinner tonight.

On the TTC front, today is cd 29. Chickened out of POAS this morning. I'll see what my temps do in the morning. The new cycle should start Wednesday.

Election, Owie, and Vacation

This has been a busy week. Yesterday was the Primary election in Mississippi. My brother-in-law was running for State Auditor. He is in a run off. My sister and he were at a restaurant with his campaign crew last night and they called me every ten minutes wanting an update until 11:30 last night.

I got a major owie yesterday. I was at my weekly tennis lesson and we were working on power serves. I followed through and hit my chin as hard as I could. I didn't break the skin but it looks like I did. I have a 4 inch long bruise/knot. It hurts ssssoooooo bad!!!!

We leave for vacation tomorrow!!!! I won't post for a few days b/c we are going to Hot Springs, Arkansas for our anniversary. I can't believe we have been married for 5 years already.

On the TTC front, I am on cd 25. I should know something definite this time next week. I think I will wait and test on Monday and not ruin our trip.

Susan's Wedding

I have been out of town since Thursday morning. My friend Susan got married yesterday and I was her wedding coordinator/planner/director/decorator. I did it all. I am exhausted today. I slept until 12:30 pm and then got up and ate lunch and went back to bed at 4 pm and slept till 6 pm. I am up right now but I don't know for how much longer. We got home about 11:30 last night. It was an hour and a half drive and we had to help clean up after the wedding before we could leave. Susan left all the decisions up to me. She picked out the bridesmaids dresses and her dress and said she wanted Gerber daisies but that was all the decisions she made. She LOVED everything. Her fiance was worried Thursday and Friday b/c he didn't see the big picture of what everything was going to look like and he was concerned. He gave me a big hug after it was over and said that he LOVED everything, that it was perfect. The flower girl freaked out during pictures and is only in 2 pictures. I was worried she wouldn't go down the aisle but she did and everything was perfect. The only thing that happened was the air conditioner went out in the gym Friday night so we had to move the reception to another place in the church. But everything was fine. I wish I had a picture of Susan's bouquet but I don't. It was gorgeous. Here are some pics though.

Bootsie

Burt is gone to a meeting in Greenwood (about an hour away). I went and played tennis after work....man was it hot!!! When I pulled in the driveway I saw our miniature horse in the yard. The two big horses (Red Roan Quarterhorse - Tank and Tennessee Walker - Beauty) were still in the pasture. Apparently sometime recently lightening struck our fence and messed it up enough so that Bootsie could escape but not the two big horses. I put her back up and my father-in-law came over and fixed the fence.

We also got a new puppy last week. She has chewed up a few things and dug up 2 flowers in the flower bed but all in all it has gone well. Her name is Lucy.

Today is cd 17. Burt needs to come on home because I got a positive with the OPK today. I have taken 2. One at 6 this morning and another just a few minutes ago. Both were definitely positive. Fingers and toes are crossed........

Tennis and Sperm Donor

I played tennis tonight. It felt good. My partner and I won. I needed the exercise and to get out and clear my mind.

No, we are not using a sperm donor. I heard from mine today. Well, my father. I haven't spoken to him in 15 years. I see him from a distance occasionally. He still lives in the same town where I grew up. I'm g;ad that he has finally gotten his life straightened out but it a little too late. Long story short. He had an affair. I caught him when I was 11. He said he didn't love me and never had.......

So, he is really the last person I wanted to hear from. And typical of him, he wrote me a letter with no return address. I don't know how he found me. We moved less than a year ago and there are not many people that know my new address. Same town just different address. I don't even know if he knew my married name until recently. I would like to write him a response but I have no return address and tried to find his today and couldn't.

Today is cd 16. OPK is still negative but getting darker. Probably should ovulate tomorrow or Wednesday.

Anniversary Gift

Mine and Burt's 5th anniversary is August 10th. To celebrate we are going to Hot Springs, Arkansas for 4 days. He went ahead and gave me my anniversary gift this week. It is an anniversary band fr my ring set. When he bought my engagement ring, he only bought the ring, so wedding band. All he really bought was the setting. The diamond in my ring was his grandmothers. So we had to have a wedding band custom made for it. So for my anniversary he had the top (anniversary) band made. Here is a pic. You can't tell too much from the pic but the two band have 3 baggets on them.



And by the way - today is cd 13.

Bunko

I played Bunko tonight. I didn't win anything but I had a great time playing. We have a Bunko group in our neighborhood. I am just a sub right now. I have been wanting to become a permanent member for a year now but it just hasn't worked out. It's a lot of fun and only one person in the group knows about our fertility situation so it is good to get away from it without feeling pressure. Just a bunch of women playing Bunko.

Premarin

I started the Premarin today. I will take it for 7 days. Since I ovulate on day 17 or 18 I am supposed to start taking it on day 14. But since I ovulated so late last month, I upped it a little bit and started taking it on day 11. We'll see what happens. On another note, I think I had egg-white cervical mucous today. I have never seen anything like this so maybe it is a good sign...or maybe it is all in my head, but I did see something.

Pictures

I told you yesterday that I would upload some pictures from this weekend. Here they are!!!!

Noah's Birthday outfit that I made for him!!!

Noah asleep with his corn on the cob. He screamed everytime we tried to take it away from him.

Anna Kate

New cell phone, birthday party, clomid

Today is cd 9. Clomid headaches are killers this month. I've never had them this bad. I've had a busy past several days. First of all, last Thursday I went to Jackson to the Endocrinologist about my thyroid. My levels checked out fine and he said that the reason they went crazy could have been because my left tube was attached to my colon and was messing up the absorption of the medication.

Then, Friday we took the youth from the church to Youth Night. We had a BLAST!!! We went to the Healthplex at MC and let the kids swim and play basketball until midnight afterwards. Then Saturday morning we went to the water park. I left from the water park about lunch and drove home. Friday was Noah's birthday. We had his birthday party yesterday. He had lots of fun!!! I will post pics later. My camera is in the truck and Burt is gone in the truck right now. I bought Noah a blow up swimming pool for his birthday and he LOVED it. He jumped in fully clothed, shoes and all. We didn't get finished with the party until 6:00. I decided to spend the night and come back this morning. I'm glad I did because when I went to crank my truck for Mom and I to go get something to eat....the battery was dead!!!! Thankfully, my Uncle Dave was home and he has batteries at his house so we went and got him to fix it!!!

Oh and I absolutely LOVE my blackberry!!!!

Cell Phone WORKS.....Kinda!!!

Ok so I am not very patient. We all know that. Burt had to take my phone away from me last night because it was killing me. I wanted to know if it was going to work or not. I dried it with the hair dryer for a bit last night. We left the battery off all night and when Burt got out of bed at 5 am he put the battery back on for me. It works....kinda. There is no back light anymore. The screen was fogged up this morning but it is better now. I can barely hear on it though. So I ordered a new phone this morning. It should be here tomorrow or Friday at the latest. I got a blackberry. I am super excited!!!! In the meantime I wrote down all of the numbers in my phone in case it dies before my new one gets here.

Cell Phones Do Not Belong in the Toilet

OK. So I accidentally did something stupid. I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. I took the battery off and it is drying. A friend who used to work on cell phones told me that if you let it dry before you put the battery back on it, it will work. We'll see in the morning. I just got this phone. It is just a cheap Nokia, but it had my life on it. I need for my phone to work. Hopefully, keep fingers crossed, pray it will work in the morning. I have my Drs cell phone, home phone, and pager on it. I don't want to ask for it again, but I guess I will if I need to. Today is cd 3. Just trudging along. I got my clomid filled last night and the pharmacist felt the need to hear my life story. Then we went to the church tonight for Burt to give blood in the blood drive and everyone there seemed to want an update and asked very specific, personal questions. This along with my friend at work who is pregnant came back from her honeymoon and has done nothing but complain. If I hear say one more time "I'm Fat" I might have to slap her. I just want to yell out "You are carrying (sp?) around a whole other freaking person inside you, did you think you would stay the same size!!!!! UGH!!!!

Ugh!

Well, she came. AF knocked on the door about 8:00 am this morning. Only two more cycles until the IUI. This is going to be a busy month so hopefully it flies by. I have to go see my endocrinologist Thursday for a recheck from when my thyroid levels went out of control 6 weeks ago. Then on Friday afternoon/night, Burt and I are taking the youth from our church to Mississippi Baptist Youth Night in Jackson and then to the water park on Saturday. Our youth director moved in May and Burt and I are the interim directors. Then Saturday afternoon I am driving home because Friday is Noah's 1st Birthday and we are having his party Sunday afternoon. Then the next weekend my brother-in-law is staying with us so that he can campaign (he's running for state auditor). Then the next weekend is my friend Susan's wedding (the one I am directing) so we'll be out of town for three days. Then the next weekend is our anniversary and we are going to Hot Springs for a much needed long weekend. Then the next week we should have an answer about whether or not we have to try the third and final cycle with Premarin. Cross our fingers for a BFP that week. Then the next week we are taking the youth canoeing. BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!

cd 33

Today is cd 33. Negative test this morning. Temp dropped by a whole degree, but not quite to cover line. I kept telling myself that maybe I didn't take it right. I went to Jackson last night for a lingerie shower for a friend and it was storming on the way. I left work about 2:30 and I got home about 11:30 last night. I got in bed about 12:30 and then we had a prank phone call at 2:30 and 5:00 this morning and then I had to take the temp at 5:30 and I am not convinced I had my mouth closed all the way. I guess I am just going to start late this month. I am NEVER this late. Last time I was pregnant I didn't test until cd 34 and it was very faint then. And that one turned out to be a blighted ovum. I am so upset this morning. THIS SUCKS!!!! I just knew this month was going to work. Over the past two days I had convinced myself I was pregnant. I want a baby so BAD!!!! Now I have to wait a whole another month. Only two more months of this and I can go for the IUI!!! I just don't understand!!!!!!! Why does God choose to bless people who don't take care of their babies, or who or not married. WHY???? I have done everything right in my life. We just built this beautiful 4 bedroom dream home, but I can't even fill one other room much less all of them. I just don't understand why this has to be so hard for me. I could understand if I only had 1 tube or 1 ovary, but they removed the endometrosis, and unblocked my left tube, but still can't find anything else "wrong" with me.

cd 31

My new cycle should have started today, but it didn't. I have been running to the bathroom all day thinking it was coming, but nothing yet. A small glimmer of hope is back, but I'm sure I will be disappointed in the morning. I didn't test today. I chickened out. I will test in the morning if my temp is still elevated. It was still up this morning. We'll see tomorrow. I'll let you know.

Updates

I can't believe it has been a week since I updated my blog. Nothing new has happened. Mom, KK, Eli, and Noah came to visit for the weekend. We had a really good time. Noah is cutting a tooth and he screamed from 2 am until 6 am Sunday morning. Burt got up with him. Burt was also the one who put him down at 8 pm. He was so good with him. It was the first time I had seen Burt in Dad-mode. He always plays with the kids but hands them off when they start crying. He is going to make a GREAT Dad...one day. But now this month, test was negative this morning. Today is cd 30. New cycle should start tomorrow at the latest Friday. I'm going to wait to test again until Friday. See what happens tomorrow. I have a horrible summer cold right now. I'm scared to take any medication while we are just not sure. I was kinda excited when I got it b/c the last time I got a cold I was pregnant. But unfortunately I just don't think it is meant to be this month. 2 more cycles of clomid/premarin before I can have the IUI. Waiting.....

Here is a picture of Noah from this weekend. This was his first attempt at corn on the cob and he did pretty good with it actually.

Happy Belated 4th of July

Happy belated 4th of July everyone!!!! We were sssooooo busy yesterday. Burt worked until lunch to get some credit time and I was lazy. I got up about 8:30 and drank some coffee and played on the Internet until about 11:00. Then I decided that I would clean the floors upstairs. I haven't been upstairs this week and we have had some men doing sheetrock work. I walked up there and EVERYTHING, including my hardwood floors, was covered in sheetrock dust. Burt and I both got on our hands and knees and cleaned and cleaned. We have finally gotten it all up but we need to go back and do the floors one more time. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon sewing. I made the cutest gift for a friend for her lingerie shower. I can't tell you what it is because she may read this post but I'll post some pics next week after the shower. I also made bibs and burp cloths for a friend who is having a shower Saturday.

Mom, Eli, Noah, and KK (Mom's boyfriend) are coming up this weekend to visit. I am so excited. Noah is walking now and I haven't gotten to see it yet. I love when Mom comes to visit. I miss her so much. Especially now and I don't know why. They will be here late tomorrow afternoon and will stay until Sunday. Burt is going to take the boys swimming Saturday while Mom and I shop. Who knows what KK will do?

I know I jinxed myself today, but I couldn't help it. I bought the cutest maternity shirt at Wal-Mart of all places. I will have to upload a pic in a minute. It is super cute and only cost $3.50 i couldn't turn it down!!!

New Pic

Burt and I finally took a picture together. We have not done that since we got married. My friend Susan took a picture of us at the wedding. Monica was at work today. She is going on her honeymoon next week. Here is a picture of her from the wedding.

Here is a picture of my friend Susan and her fiance Brian. Their's is the wedding that I am directing/coordinating.